Selective Blindness
by CynicAlb
Summary: "I haven't really been hiding for a long time you've just been too blind to see what's right in front of you." Merlin decides its time for Arthur to see the truth.
1. Chapter 1

Selective Blindness

"Two kinds of blindness are easily combined so that those who do not see really appear to see what is not."

Tertullian

* * *

Chapter One

The book was plain brown worn leather with a tie string to hold it closed. Arthur found it in a stack of books that Merlin had brought from the archive for their research into the five kingdoms. They were preparing the peace talks they were going to hold, or rather hoped to hold in the next several months.

This book stood out, from its fellows because it was smaller, about a hand's width across, and it wasn't one of those fancy gilded histories that Geoffrey liked to run his fingers over with authority and reverence. This was a handwritten journal, a first hand account of someone from Camelot's past. It might prove invaluable in finding common ground with the other noble families, the only problem was there was no book plate on the inside cover and the author chose not to date or sign his words. He turned to the first page and started reading:

"_I'm not sure who might read this, but my mother told me to take this book to practice my penmanship, and to record all my adventures. Adventures, I'd just as soon have a quiet life. My mother is afraid for me, I know that's why she's sending me away, she found out someone knew about me and next thing I know she's writing her friend to see if he'll take me in. I know she wants me safe, but I just feel like a piece of luggage, or worse an untamed horse that can't be kept in the stable with the other horses. _

_Sometimes I wonder if I've been cursed, to be like this is to be feared and I wish that I didn't have to hide the best part of who I am to fit in. I'll get to the city tomorrow morning. I should get some sleep."_

The writer sounds like a child or a young man, thought Arthur, he wondered why he was sent away and where was he sent? Was he going to Camelot or was he being sent away from it?

Arthur turned to the next entry.

"_It occurs to me that this city isn't friendly my kind so I won't reveal any information that might identify me here should anyone find this book they will likely think I'm a crazy person." _

Arthur frowned at this, and wondered of what kind he was, perhaps a Celt or a Druid, their kind weren't well liked within the city limits, though Arthur was trying to change that. He continued to read.

"_I've only been here two days and already I've witnessed what they do to my kind; I've pissed off the noblemen's son, and exposed my secret by accident, not necessarily in that order. Let me explain._

"_When I walked into the courtyard on my first day here, they were executing a man for using magic, they beheaded him and the Noble calls it a time of celebration. I felt ill, and worse when the poor man's mother came out of the crowd crying in grief for her son. She's got power; I could feel it when she cast her disappearing spell. I went to find my new Guardian feeling that I might be better off running for the hills than living in this place that would celebrate such carnage. _

_I saved my Guardian when he fell off his upper tier it was completely on instinct. So he now knows I have magic, and warned me against doing it. He seemed surprised I didn't know any spells."_

Arthur dropped the book, this was a sorcerer's diary, and a powerful one, if he could do magic without casting spells. He felt strangely guilty reading it now, like just knowing that a sorcerer had done magic was wrong, but he had to know what happened next.

"_On the bright side I have my own room and a real bed, okay it's a straw cot, but it's a damn sight better than sleeping on the floor at home."_

Definitely not from a noble family, thought Arthur.

"_I didn't sleep well, too much on my mind I guess, I kept feeling this presence and a voice kept calling to me. _

_So yesterday morning I went out and G wants me to run errands, he provoked another magical save from me, he knocked over a bucket I stopped it from falling. He's afraid for me I can tell. _

'Why wouldn't this guardian just stop him from using magic?' Arthur thought frowning. He turned back to the page.

"_So I went out and, some git was abusing this poor kid, using him for target practice, I stepped in, but then I couldn't really use my magic and as it turns out the git is son and heir to the magic hating Noble, fan-bloody-tastic. I'm going to call him A for Ass, because he is a big one."_

Arthur snorted in amusement.

"_So, I got tossed in the dungeons overnight then G pulled some strings, so I only had to spend the rest of the day in the stocks, thanks for that G. When I was in the cell though I felt that presence again, and heard it calling to me, I think it's underneath the palace. _

_I met a girl while I was getting pelted with vegetables in the stocks; she seems nice. I'll call her L because even though she's a maid she's still a lady. She said standing up to A was very brave. It wasn't really; it was stupid, I could have taken his head off without even touching him, but I don't want to kill anyone, and if I even threw a straw at him with magic they'd be taking my head off before I could blink. Am going to steer clear of the Noble prat."_

Arthur frowned at the last phrase, a thought tickled his brain, but refused to come to the forefront.

"Arthur!"

Arthur jumped and looked up, Merlin was grinning at him.

"Good book?" asked Merlin.

"It's a diary," said Arthur marking his page for later, "it's nothing."

"Are you ready?" asked Merlin.

"Ready for what?" asked Arthur.

Merlin rolled his eyes, "You said you wanted to go hunting, take a break from all the research." He gestured to the books covering Arthur's desk. "I've got everything ready except you, but hey if you don't want to go that's fine I'll just go tell the stable hands to take the horses back."

"No, no," said Arthur standing up, "A hunt sounds good."

"To you maybe," Merlin muttered pulling clothes out of Arthur's wardrobe.

Arthur grinned at him, "You still hate it after all these years?" he asked.

"I'll hunt for food, Arthur," said Merlin, "but killing something for fun was never my idea of a good time. I'll wait for you downstairs," he shrugged and left.

Arthur thought Merlin looked exhausted, and when he thought more he realized how busy the last few months had been, surviving the last attack, rebuilding the city, getting the fields ready to plant before winter, not to mention Arthur's determination to push on with the peace talks.

Merlin had been by his side every second of the day and helping everyone. It seemed, every time Arthur turned around Merlin was carrying water for an old lady in the square, or patching up an injury at one of the repair sites, or making faces and entertaining the children while their parents worked at the reconstruction. That wasn't even mentioning all the stuff he did for Arthur, including getting ready for this hunt, an activity he loathed, but refused to sit out on. Arthur liked to joke about how useless Merlin was as a servant, but it wasn't true anymore, he was a good servant and so much more, Merlin was his friend, his advisor, and for all intents he was the brother that Arthur never had.

Arthur was still thinking about that when they rode into the forest together.

* * *

"_I didn't steer clear, he provoked me, the noble ass, I was able to use my powers to keep my distance without anyone noticing, and G stepped in before it got too far, but damn, I really need to rethink being here if all I'm going to get is beaten up and lectured on the dangers of magic. I can't not do magic, it's a part of me, I'm nothing if I can't do magic, I really am just the idiot that everyone sees when they look at me. I'll tell G tomorrow, I can't stay there's no reason for me to risk dying simply for having been born."_

Arthur frowned reading those words, he'd always thought that magic was a choice, that children with magic were taught by their parents and adults learned it from books. If this writer was to be believed he was born with magic and didn't have a choice. For the first time, Arthur wondered how many innocent people his father had executed simply for being born.

Arthur looked across the campfire at Merlin sleeping soundly in his bedroll it had been a good day, they'd hunted some small game and cooked most of it over the campfire. Okay, so Merlin cooked, but Arthur had stopped hunting when they had enough for the night and the morning, which seemed to make him happy and they'd both eaten their fill. Arthur had watched as Merlin slowly relaxed and unwound himself from the stress of the last few months, and he smiled when he finally dropped down and off to sleep, with a softly yawned goodnight.

He didn't know how the journal had gotten packed with his things, but Arthur was glad of the distraction though the day had been good exercise he was still full of nervous energy, so when he found the book he was grateful for the distraction it created.

"_I heard the voice again tonight, it was louder and this time, I followed it. There is a magical creature, chained up in the caverns beneath the palace. G told me about it, but I never expected to see it, let alone have it speak to me! He said I have a great destiny that having these powers has purpose. I was kind of happy that he would say that, despite being a large scary monster, he was really well spoken. Then he told me something I did not want to hear, he said that my destiny was to help A be a good leader. A the noble ass who tortures his own servant for fun, who picks fights with people who are smaller and to his mind weaker than him. This is the spoiled brat that I'm supposed to help be Leader, he's already going to be Noble, if I start throwing magic around here, the only thing I'll be is dead."_

Arthur had begun to suspect the journal was a work of fiction, seriously though what kind of city kept a magical creature in the dungeons? Still it was a good story, even if the writer was trying to make it sound like the sorcerer was a good guy.

"_So I guess I'm not leaving, more fool me. G wanted my help with his deliveries today so I did that, I almost saw the Noble's ward in her all together that was embarrassing thankfully L came and the lady, M, was none the wiser. Apparently she suffers from nightmares. I know what that's like every time a group of soldiers came through the village looking for young boys to recruit to C's army, I had nightmares of being found and dragged off. Me and my friend both were terrified. C didn't care about his men; he sent them into battle like cattle to the slaughter. I didn't want to be taken away from my mother, and thrown into a sword ring. I've never even touched a sword, how could I go into battle with soldiers and watch them die knowing I could fell everyone around with just a scream?_

Arthur was startled by this revelation, he thought that all sorcerers wanted to kill, that was why they studied magic to begin with.

_I remember the first time that happened, I was alone in the woods and a wolf had found me, I was only seven or eight summers old. I climbed a tree, but the wolf was waiting me out, I screamed for my mother, I screamed in terror as the creature nipped at my heels and my power punched out of me with the scream, the wolf was knocked back against another tree and any wildlife in a three stride area just dropped around me. I was so afraid at what I had done that I stayed in the tree for hours until my mother found me, and took me home. _

_I didn't speak for a month, because I thought any sound could cause that terrible power to come out of me, and I never wanted to hurt anyone. I had a nightmare about hurting her and the others in my village, I tried to run away, but she followed me, I told her in the smallest whisper what had happened. When I realized how badly I could hurt someone if I lost control, I felt like a monster._

Arthur sat for a long time considering this, how must it feel to be a child and know such power. How terrifying to know that just your voice not even a spell could do so much damage. This sorcerer if he existed must have been a strong one, to have that sort of power at such a young age and to know that no matter what you do you'll always been the one who's different, who could do something if only you knew what it was.

As Crown Prince Arthur knew that feeling all too well, he knew that it wasn't enough to have power, you had to know how to use it and what for, otherwise the power controlled you made you irresponsible and careless. He'd always had the power of his station, it just took him a while to learn the right things to do with it. One thing he'd never been was afraid of it, his father had taught him to respect the power that came with his position and the responsibility that came with it. The second part he was slow to understand, but the first, well he'd always been proud of his position as prince, but that was a position he was born with, his standing as Camelot's greatest warrior was hard won, so he treasured it more closely than his birthright.

_The witch did something similar except she used a song, she crashed the feast and tried to sing everyone into an enchanted sleep; so she could avenge her son. He was the boy they beheaded the day I arrived. I could feel the magic coming at me in waves so I covered my ears. I made something fall on her, it broke the sleeping spell and her disguise and then she still tried to attack A. I slowed time and push him out of the way, I half expected the Noble to call for the guards when they realized the distance I had covered, but they must still have been addled because of the enchantment. The Noble actually thanked me, and get this; he's made me a servant in the noble's palace. I saved A's life and now I get to be his new punching bag, if what he was doing to his other servant is any indication of what to expect. I don't know how that's a fair reward, but it's something to do. G now agrees with the creature that my magic is meant to save A; I just hope he's worth it._

_G gave me a spell book, real magic that can be controlled with words and thoughts. I've always wanted to know if I could really control what I can do and use it for good, instead of suppressing it, maybe I will stick around for a while. _

Arthur closed the book and lay down to sleep. The sorcerer had saved a life, with magic. Not only that he'd saved a man he barely knew and didn't really like that much. Sorcerers weren't selfless, at least not in his experience, they always had an angle to play. This one though had no reason to lie, it was his personal journal after all. He ruminated again on who this sorcerer was it had to be a long time ago, the book wasn't new looking, and the author used a cheap ink that had faded over time. The person was clearly important since his journal had been collected by the archive, perhaps upon his death. Arthur flipped to the end, the book was filled cover to cover, so it may not even contain the fate of the sorcerer. Still he was interested perhaps reading more would give him some more clues. He yawned loudly, but that would have to wait for tomorrow, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

A/N: So you guys want some more? :D

Later

Cynic


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

It was over a week before Arthur could take the time to read the diary again, though it seemed like it was always close by begging to be read. So after a long day of council meetings and holding court for peasant requests Arthur sat down in his chambers and pulled out the book.

_A is the biggest noblest, pain in my ass ever. He had me training with him today, with a sword and shield! I can barely move my arms and my ears are ringing with every blow to the head I took. Now I have to study up on tournament etiquette, and weapons and stuff. I'm never going to learn all this stuff properly._

Arthur shook his head, this kid sounded so green, like one of his young pages.

_I'm useless at this tournament stuff, good thing I've got my own little helper, G frowns on me using magic this way but there is no way I'd get everything done otherwise, the amount of work is ridiculous, A's trying overload me, he's fallen for the oldest trick in the book. He underestimates the common man, and he definitely underestimates me. _

A dangerous thing to do, thought Arthur.

_I must admit though that watching A fight is a sight to be seen, he's pretty good, but so is that other warrior V, he's a bit of a creep, but he fought well. I bet A'll kick his butt in the finals though._

Arthur smiled, it seemed like this sorcerer was finding his way in his new role even learning to have some fun.

_I learned something new today that the voice of a servant is worthless. V is cheating in the tournament he's using magic. I wanted to go tell A, but G said that without proof, my word counts for nothing. I'll have to find a way to prove my story or else A will die when he faces V in the morning._

Arthur sat back there was something familiar about this story, perhaps he'd heard it from one of the men. It sounded like a tavern tale.

_A is still an ass of the highest caliber, but at least he's not a cheat. It took all night but I learned a spell that would reveal V's magic and give A a fighting chance. This is of course after we had a huge argument and he fired me because I couldn't prove that V was really cheating. He rehired me, and actually sideways apologized. I'm starting to see a glimmer of humanity under all the spoiled brat exterior. It's only a glimmer mind, but it gives me hope I'm not wasting my time here._

Arthur smiled as he put the book away for the night, there was something so compelling about this story he just couldn't put his finger on it.

* * *

Arthur decided to take a day off; he and Merlin took a ride into woods and sat out in the trees. He had Merlin bring a picnic lunch and they sat quietly enjoying the peace for once. He missed doing this with Gwen, but she was away tending to a sick friend, and wouldn't be back for some weeks.

Merlin leaned back against a tree and dozed off, so Arthur pulled out the diary and picked up where he'd left off.

_I told A I had magic today, actually I announced it to the whole court._

Arthur blinked, well that was unexpected.

_They didn't believe me, I cast a spell to heal a friend but his daughter has been accused of the magic, I was trying to save her. G said I was a fool, and lucky A stepped in and convinced Noble of that fact. I have to save her; I will not allow someone to die for my actions. I can't believe how dense A is, he thinks he's so smart just because he was born noble and can swing a sword. All of them consistently underestimate me. I may not be much to look at, but if she dies they'll sorely regret it._

Sounds like love, thought Arthur.

_The world is a strange place; yesterday morning I was getting flowers from pretty girls and carrying corpses to G's chamber. This evening I'm fighting a monster in the catacombs. We won, turns out A and I do make a good team after all._

"It'll be getting dark soon."

Arthur looked up from his book, Merlin was gesturing to the waning light.

"Let's go home then," said Arthur, "can't have you turning in to a pumpkin can we?"

Merlin grinned as they collected up their belongings.

"Does your father know?" asked Merlin.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"That someone has told you stories where magic was a good thing."

"I haven't the faintest," said Arthur, "though speaking of which did you read that little book you brought out from the archive with the other histories?"

"I scanned it looked like a journal or a diary, I thought it might give you better insights than a list of begetting begets that the archive gives you. Why do you ask?"

"No reason," said Arthur mounting his horse, "I was just wondering whose diary it is."

"It isn't signed?" asked Merlin.

"If it were signed I wouldn't wonder would I Merlin?" Arthur rolled his eyes and started the horse off at a fast clip.

"I suppose not," said Merlin with a sigh.

_"So today I killed a griffin, I just had to write that down so that I can know that it's true. I know I haven't written much in here in the last few months but I've been busy, learning how to be a servant, a squire, a physician's assistant, not to mention saving A's life left right and center. With all the magical creatures, corrupt nobles, and evil enchantresses out to kill this guy I'm starting to wonder how on earth he made it to adulthood."_

Arthur was now almost positive this book was someone's weird imagination. There's no way that a regime could survive the amount of attacks that this sorcerer claimed to have prevented.

_ "So the griffin, amazing creature but very deadly."_

Arthur snorted; yeah I still have the scar from that one a few years ago, he thought.

_"The first time I saw it, I was terrified, it just came out of nowhere, I was out collecting mushrooms in the forest, G says they're good for stews, and have healing properties, I'm not convinced, but anyway, the griffin came charging out of the trees straight at me, I tripped and fell and I thought for sure I was going to be clawed to death. I was paralyzed I mean even if I knew a spell to use on a griffin, I couldn't have said it I still have to focus really hard when I want to cast a spell. So I thought I was going to die, when this guy jumps in out of nowhere, starts hacking and slashing at the creature. I don't think he did any damage to it, but it was so surprised that it's prey was fighting back he managed to get it to rear away from us. He helped me up and we ran for it. The creature gave chase but we were able to take cover behind some felled trees, and I guess it decided we weren't such easy prey anymore so it flew off. He was wounded in the fight so I took him back to the city so G could treat him. I'm going to call my savior W because he has a warrior's heart. I don't think anyone else would have just jumped in to save me like that. Well, except for A, I have to admit for all of his being a noble ass, he is a brave and skilled warrior. They say he's the best in the land, but I wouldn't know about that."_

Arthur smirked at that line, so the sorcerer was learning some respect for his superior.

_"So it turned out that W had come to the city to be a warrior, he qualified in my book when he jumped in front of that griffin, but as it turns out, you have to be from one of the ancient families to be a warrior. W is just a peasant like me. I don't understand disqualifying good men for not being born into the right family. W was born to be a warrior it's who he is in his heart. I spoke to A about getting W a try out. He said unless W was an ancient family member no chance. So I lied and told him that W was of the ancient houses. I used magic to forge a __patent of nobility and got him a shot."_

Arthur frowned he wasn't sure he approved of that.

_"I keep having this dream where I'm running to save A from something and I'm just a second too slow. I felt like that when I went out with W to fight the griffin, like this time it might be too late, and I'll never fulfill my destiny."_

"When did we get to fighting the griffin?" said Arthur to himself flipping back a page.

"The griffin?" asked Merlin looking up from folding laundry in the corner of the room, "that was years ago."

"Not that griffin," said Arthur annoyed, "the griffin in the book I'm reading. I think the author skipped a bit ahead."

"Did you say it was a diary?" asked Merlin.

"What's your point?" asked Arthur.

"I know when I write in my diary sometimes my thoughts run off on a tangent for a while, after all isn't a diary something to use to get all your random thoughts out?"

"I suppose," said Arthur, putting his finger in the book, "I was just starting to think this was a fictional account."

"What makes you say that?" asked Merlin.

"Well it's about a good sorcerer, for one thing," said Arthur, "and I don't know of a city in the five kingdoms that has been attacked as much as he says."

Just then a servant burst through the doors.

"Sire, we're under attack!"

"What now?" Arthur groaned getting up.

Merlin grinned dropped the laundry and ran after him.

* * *

A man stood in the courtyard several barrels and carts were on fire, a few of the gargoyles had been felled from the parapets and lay in pieces on the ground.

"I demand vengeance!" cried the man his long robes blowing about him.

"Who are you? And on whom are you seeking vengeance?" asked Arthur standing on the courtyard steps in his armor. Merlin hung back in the doorway.

"I am Gregor of Calambria, I am here to avenge my family for the decimation of our village." Several windows in the courtyard exploded showering the ground with glass.

"We do not bow to the demands of sorcerers!" yelled Arthur.

Gregor stepped forward and began an incantation. A huge fireball formed in the center of the square, he continued to chant and his robes whipped about him as the wind built up in the square swirling the fire as it formed. Then a horrible but fortuitous thing happened. Gregor tripped. His flapping robes got under his feet and he tripped and fell into the fire he was creating, the fall broke his concentration, so the fire exploded outward in all directions. Arthur felt a hit from behind just as the fire rush towards him, Merlin grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him back inside. It all happened in seconds, and when the flames dissipated all that remained was the charred body of Gregor of Calambria.

* * *

Author's Notes: I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who read and reviewed! My ego has been extremely well fed this week :D That said I hope you enjoy the latest installment of this story. I'm having so much fun writing this I hope you all have fun reading too! Oh and just as a little incentive one or both of our boys will be injured following this adventure. I may be willing to be swayed as to the severity of the injury. Post your ideas! Have a great weekend.

Later

Cynic.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Arthur sat in Gaius' chambers being treated for a minor burn to his left leg. Merlin had pulled him inside quickly enough, but some of the fire had gotten under the door. Luckily the square had been cleared and there were no other injuries. Arthur saw Merlin standing by the window cradling his right arm.

"What's wrong with your arm?" he called over to Merlin.

"I got caught putting you out," said Merlin with a shrug.

"Merlin," Gaius chided, looking up from wrapping a bandage around Arthur's calf, "You should have said something."

"I was going to after you fixed up Arthur," said Merlin, "It's not bad, I've been putting a wet cloth over to keep it cool." Gaius finished with Arthur and turned to Merlin.

"Sit," he said gesturing to a stood, Merlin obeyed and offered his left arm to Gaius. He unwrapped the cloth that Merlin had used to cover it and hissed in pain when the air his the tender flesh. "This is a deep burn, Merlin, you should have told me right away." He turned to Arthur still holding Merlin's arm, "Sire, could you pass me that jar of ointment on my table there." Arthur hopped down off the examination bench and pointed to the jar Gaius was gesturing to.

"This one?" he said.

"Yes, thank you, if you could take the lid off for me, thank you," Gaius plunged his free hand into the white paste. "This is going to sting," he told Merlin and then slathered the paste across the burn. Merlin jerked back from the treatment but Gaius held his arm firmly and applied the paste thickly across his arm. "You are not to use this arm for any kind of heavy lifting, or any strenuous repetitive activity," he wrapped a thin gaze around the paste and put the arm in a sling.

"I'll have George bring me dinner this evening," said Arthur.

"You should rest your leg Sire," said Gaius, "no training and no getting it wet for at least three days."

"Of course," said Arthur, "I have plenty of paperwork to do in my chambers. Merlin you can do that research we discussed on the five kingdoms, put together a list of relevant annals and I'll send someone to pick them up at the archive."

"I can do that," said Merlin.

"No lifting," said Gaius sternly.

"Okay," said Merlin holding up his good arm in surrender.

* * *

_Let me back up here, I got W a shot at being a warrior for the city, and he excelled even beat A in a fight. We had a great big party, got smashed and it was fantastic. All while this is going on the griffin has been getting closer to the city, and now it's just a matter of time, the warriors are ready, W is keen to prove himself, and then stupid archivist notices the forged patent, W is jailed and stripped of his status and A faces the griffin alone barely making it out of the bout alive."_

Arthur sat back, this sorcerer has a challenge, he remembered the griffin they had faced he still had scars. It was lucky that Lancelot had figured out a way to kill it before it had done any real damage.

_"W is so frigging noble he refused to let me take the blame and I'm worried because A is going to face the creature again and now that G knows what it is we both know that only magic can kill it and save the city and A."_

Arthur frowned, that couldn't be right; Lancelot had killed the griffin without magic. Hadn't he? But then again Lancelot had refused to stay on as a knight after he'd done that. Perhaps he felt ashamed if he'd somehow gotten his hands on magical weapon.

_"I was scrambling to find a way to kill the griffin before it killed more people and in such a way that I won't get executed for using magic. Then L came in and said that W had somehow escaped custody and was riding out after the warriors to slay the creature. Well there was nothing for it, I ran out after them both. A was already down when I got there, the griffin was coming back around for another go and W rode in with a spear, I yelled the enchantment loudly over and over again until the spear glowed with magic, W dealt the death blow and we went over and revived A. I swear that guy gets knocked unconscious so much it's a wonder he can remember his own name._

Arthur laughed to himself at that. George had brought his dinner and he was sat eating it still engrossed in the story.

_W has left the city, Noble wouldn't forgive him for not having the right blood, and W being the real noble of the two didn't want to take credit for my magic. He and A are a lot alike, except A is twice as arrogant it's what keeps him from seeing who I really I am. W heard me reciting the enchantment and figured me out; he agreed not to expose my secret and just left. It would have been so nice having an ally in this, but I understand, he wants to be a warrior in his own right, and I have a feeling that he will._

"You're still reading that diary?"

Arthur looked up and saw Merlin standing in the doorway, holding a sack in his good hand.

"Gaius said no lifting," said Arthur.

"I'm not using my injured arm," said Merlin, "it's the books you asked for; histories of The Five Kingdoms and their noble lines. Fascinating stuff, I had a skim through, you know there's a better than good chance you're related on some level to all the noble families?"

"Really?" asked Arthur.

"You're third cousins with Lord Godwin's daughter, Eleana," said Merlin grinning, "You remember the girl you almost married."

"Yes, thank you Merlin," said Arthur.

"There's something to be said for being a commoner, I'm not likely to find out my future spouse is my sister," Merlin's eyes went wide as he realized what he'd said, "I'm sorry, Arthur, I didn't mean anything."

"I know," said Arthur, "your mouth runs away with you as usual."

Merlin grimaced as he put the books on the table.

"Was there anything else you needed?" he asked.

"No," said Arthur, "I think you've done enough."

"Good night, Sire," said Merlin.

"Good night Merlin."

* * *

_So the creature said that I must kill the boy to protect A. I can't do it. I can't kill a child and I can't stand by while Noble does it for me. I don't care if he grows up to become a powerful sorcerer and comes after A, killing him now makes me the monster, and if I fail in my destiny because I could not murder someone then, I don't want that destiny anyway._

Arthur couldn't make sense of this entry, how could killing a child help a warrior like A? He was glad that the sorcerer drew that line.

_It's a beautiful sword; I know this will make the difference. If A has taught me one thing it's appreciation of finely crafted weapons, I may never wield a sword like he does, I don't need to as a rule, but this one has the glow of destiny about it. Like the sorceress was meant to conjure that wraith so that I would need a weapon capable of killing that which is already dead._

Arthur frowned how could anyone kill something that was already dead? Why would you need to?

_I prepared the sword for A, he was to fight the wraith, but Noble and G conspired to stop him. Noble fought the wraith with A's sword, and won. I promised the creature none but A would wield the blade, he's so angry I thought his voice would bring down the cavern. I have promised to discard the sword, it's magic and it's power can never be destroyed but nor can it be wielded by the likes of Noble. _

Sounds like an interesting weapon, thought Arthur.

_There it's done; the sword lies in the bottom of the lake where the Sidhe appeared. G called it Avalon the realm of the immortals a place that is only glimpsed by mortals when they crossover. I saw it, it's the most indescribable thing I've ever witnessed I cannot put it into words. The beauty and power were almost overwhelming._

_G tries to help, and I appreciate his council more than I can say, but these things dealing with the depth of my power, with my so called destiny, I cannot discuss it with him, he has no concept of what it's like to live like this. That one spell he tried on the sorcerer that was trying to kill him last month didn't work, he's a dabbler. I don't mean to speak ill of my guardian, he can do magic he proved that when he created the magical cure when I was poisoned. But he isn't connected like I am. I am a creature of magic, that is who I am with my entire being, seeing people just stick their toes in like that warrior when I first arrived here. These people have no real clue about the nature of magic. I want to scream it's so much more than just casting spells and causing chaos. I want to tell them that magic is nature, and the world. There are sprites, magical creatures whose job it is the make the flowers bloom, and the grass grow. There is a spell to make rainbows, how amazing is that? If magic were legal I'd make it so there was a rainbow in the sky over the city every day, because rainbows make everyone smile._

Arthur smiled at the sentiment, and considered that perhaps this was written by a child, magic may be real enough but creatures that make the flowers grow? Surely that was the stuff of fairy tales.

"That must be a really good book," said Merlin standing in the doorway.

"Why do you say that?" asked Arthur.

"Because you just sat there quietly and let George polish your boots, tidy the room and clear away breakfast. You didn't even notice."

"Merlin, that's what good servants are supposed to be like," said Arthur.

"What insufferably boring?" Merlin asked.

"Invisible," said Arthur.

"You'd miss me if I were invisible," said Merlin grinning, "How's your leg? Gaius wanted me to see if you needed anymore salve."

"It's fine," said Arthur, "it's barely more than a sunburn. Did Gaius mention when you'd be getting back to your duties?"

"He said it was a pretty bad burn, so I won't be able to use the arm for another week," said Merlin.

"Well George will do for that long, you can help with the peace talks research," said Arthur gesturing to the mass of papers and books on his desk.

"Are you going to help or are you going to keep reading your diary?" asked Merlin, starting to sort through the papers.

"It's not a diary," said Arthur, "I'm starting to think it was written by a child."

"A child!" said Merlin surprised, "I thought you said it sounded like it was written by a young man?"

"Yes, but now he's talking about magic being used to make flowers and rainbows, and that's not really a manly thing to write about, more likely a child playing at being a sorcerer."

"Does that mean you're going to put it away and help me with this research?" asked Merlin. Arthur just smiled. "No, of course not, how silly of me," he sat down and pulled one of the history books towards him. Arthur sat back with the diary.

* * *

_I know how naïve I sound talking about rainbows, but I've seen so much violence and death done with magic, I think the people have forgotten what wonders it can bring. My magic book has healing spells, and G has books of magical creatures that never interact with humans, but take care of the natural world. Is it really so wrong of me? I am magic, I'm not a sorcerer like G, or any of the others who summon the power. The power is a part of me, and I would hope that given the choice that I would rather make rainbows than make monsters and death._

_The creature in the cave calls me a warlock; I suppose that's as good a name as any. The boy called me another name, said his people knew of my destiny, of A's and my destiny to bring magic and peace to the land. _

Arthur paused when he read that, how could the land be at peace if magic was allowed to run wild?

_It seems like a distant dream, the more A sees magic through the eyes of these dabblers and hate filled creatures the less inclined he will be to lenient on those that practice benign magic._

Arthur almost snorted at that, there was no such thing as benign magic.

_I should get back before A figures out that I'm gone, not that he really notices what I do, or where I go, but he does get a bit testy when I'm late with his dinner._

Speaking of which, Arthur turned to Merlin who was deeply engrossed in his own reading.

"Merlin?"

"Yes," said Merlin turning the page of his book.

"Call George to get us some dinner."

"What?" Merlin asked looking up sharply.

"I'm hungry," said Arthur slowly, "send for dinner."

"You said us, like I would be eating some too here, with you," Merlin was looking at him suspiciously. Arthur blinked as he realized he had said that, and what's more he meant it.

"Well," said Arthur, "I figure that we're still working here and since you can't bring my food for me or really do anything else until your arm heals then I should get as much work out of you as I can. You can eat and keep working."

"Very logical," said Merlin sounding impressed. At that moment, as if on cue, George knocked and came in carrying a large tray of food.

"Perfect timing," said Arthur, "we'll need an extra plate."

George did a double take as he laid out the platters of meats, fruits and cheese on the table.

"Will someone be joining you?" asked George.

"Merlin was injured saving my life yesterday, as a reward he will be dining with me today," said Arthur sounding like this was the best reward ever. Merlin could be seen rolling his eyes behind George's back.

George for his part looked suitably impressed, nodded bowed and left.

He returned a few minutes later with a plate and cup for Merlin, not royal flatware Arthur noted with his own mental eye-roll.

Arthur sat at the table and dug into the food.

"Eat up," he said to Merlin.

Merlin served himself and they both ate for a few minutes in silence.

"So how's your book?" asked Merlin after awhile.

"Interesting," said Arthur chewing some bread.

"So not written by a child then?" asked Merlin.

"Worse," said Arthur tearing into a piece of meat, "an idealist." He took a swig of his drink, "worse still a magical idealist."

"Why is that bad?"

"He thinks magic can be used for good, he thinks he's protecting those around him when he uses it."

"Isn't he though?" asked Merlin frowning, "didn't you say he saved that one guy's life?"

"Yes, it's strange the entries aren't really complete, he's referring to events he hasn't written about, like times he's saved this noble's son, and times he's saved the entire city from various threats. It's a little frustrating to have these hints, but have no real account of what happened and since it's not dated I can't look it up in the histories. Have you found any cities in the five kingdoms that have taken this hardline against magic in the past?"

"Not that's recorded here," said Merlin, "magic has fallen in and out of favor depending on the ruler at the time, but the only period where there has been a staunch ban on all practice of magic was and is now, starting 28 years ago."

"Yes, I know when it was it was the year I was born," said Arthur.

"I didn't realize you were that old," said Merlin grinning.

"It's not old," said Arthur scowling, "why how old are you?"

"I'm not sure," said Merlin frowning a little.

"How can you not know how old you are?" asked Arthur surprised.

"The birth of every peasant isn't recorded in great annals like nobles are," said Merlin casting his arms over the books stacked around them.

"But surely you know when you were born didn't you ever celebrate your birthday?" asked Arthur surprised.

"You've seen Ealdor," said Merlin, "the people there work to survive, they don't think in those terms."

"But surely you know when you were born," said Arthur.

"My mother told me, I was born a few weeks after Samhain, before the winter solstice," said Merlin.

"That's about the same time as my birthday," said Arthur, "could we be the same age."

"No," said Merlin, "I must be a few years younger."

"Why do you say that?" asked Arthur.

"Because I was born two or three years after the purge began."

"How do you know that?" asked Arthur.

"My mother told me that the year I was born was a year or so after the great dragon was captured. My father came to the village as a refugee."

"A refugee from what?" asked Arthur.

"A great many villages were destroyed during the purge, by Camelot soldiers and sorcerers alike a lot of people were displaced, my father was one of them," said Merlin.

"I didn't know your father was from Camelot!" said Arthur surprised.

"I don't know where he was from originally, my mother doesn't like to speak of him, not even his name, he left without even knowing I existed," said Merlin.

"Does you mother know why he left?" asked Arthur.

"Not really," said Merlin, "only that he left a note saying he was leaving for her safety."

"I'm sorry," said Arthur, "I know it's difficult no knowing a parent."

"I take solace in what I had which is a mother who loved me fiercely and without reserve," said Merlin smiling a little.

"She's a hell of a woman," said Arthur smiling too.

* * *

Author's notes: Aww, I decided to give them a moment before the Sh*t hits the fan as it were. Thanks to everyone who's continuing to read and review this story you are definitely fattening up my ego nicely, keep up the good work!

Oh and I know Arthur's very dense in this story, I'm working with what the show give me on this one, hear no magic see no magic etc.. four seasons is straining the limits of suspending disbelief, but rest assured I won't make you wait that long. :D

Later

Cynic.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

* * *

Arthur sat in bed that night and couldn't resist reading another entry.

_I have to go home, my mother is in trouble. I will not allow her to be terrorized like this. She is the only person who cares for me unconditionally and I don't know what I'd do without that love in my life. I got her an audience with the Noble; he won't help, he's afraid to cross the border. Politics and a noblemen's arrogance will leave a beaten woman with no recourse. These bandits won't know what hit them when I come to town._

Arthur blinked at the change of tone, this warlock might want to conjure rainbows, but God help anyone who threatens anyone he cares about. Arthur found himself nodding in agreement if his mother were alive he was certain he would protect her with his entire being. He would defend his father too, but it was a different kind of dynamic with him.

_I've somehow developed an entourage, L, M, my mother and even A, all on the road together. L gave me a sword from her father I can barely hold it and I think the idea of little old harmless me facing off with a bunch of bandits is what made them want to come. They have no idea what I'm capable of and I hope that they don't have to find out._

_In spite of everything I am looking forward to going home, it's been almost a year, but I feel like it's been so much longer. So much has happened, I feel like a different person from the boy that walked through the gates all those months ago. I couldn't imagine facing down griffins, and dragons, battling Sidhe and other creatures, as well lots of regular bandits here and there too, not that A ever thinks I'm any use in those kinds of fights, but he's never seen me call down lightening from the sky. Okay, so I only did it once and it missed, but the point still stands. All this doesn't even mention breaking enchantments, casting spells and uncovering magical plots. I almost feel like I'm coming home from a war, even though I'll be facing a battle there too. It makes me wonder if I'll spend my life fighting, one way or another. I have to admit, it's not something I would have chosen freely, I can't say that I've enjoyed it, and I can't say I've hated it either. I've fought and I have killed, but everything that I've done I've done to save lives, and I honestly can't say I regret any of it. _

Arthur put the book down and thought about all the things he'd done in his father's name, all the times he'd rode into battle or drawn his sword in a duel, he wanted to think he was better than this warlock because he fought with honor without magic, but Arthur couldn't honestly say that every time he fought he fought for the lives the innocent and he definitely had regrets.

* * *

_My mother heard me talking to A, he knows the fight is useless, trained warriors against a handful of villagers with tripwires and pitchforks, but I gave him my confidence. I have faith he can lead the men in battle and delay the bandits long enough so that I can finish this for them. I cannot let my mother and my friends die when I have the power to save them. Even if A knows the truth and I can never return to the city or fulfill whatever destiny the creature has promised, or worse if he kills me on the spot it will be worth it if I save my family, all of them._

Arthur felt a grudging respect for this warlock, to be ready to face the consequences of his actions, because he felt that what he was doing was a force for good. Arthur still had mixed feelings about that, he had been taught for too long how evil magic was and no matter what it always corrupted the user. Perhaps the later entries would bare that out.

* * *

The next afternoon found Arthur and Merlin back in the same configuration. Merlin was now working on writing up the morning's council meeting notes, and Arthur was sat by the fire reading the diary. Arthur half-expected Merlin to complain about doing all the work, but he seemed happy enough to just get on with things.

_My best friend is dead, he died saving a life there is no better end, but I feel a great hole in my chest for his passing. We fought the whole time, but he was there for me in the end. I couldn't save him, I was so close, but I couldn't save him. He knew what I am and he kept my secret, protecting me even while he was dying. I can't imagine having a friend like that ever again. He took the blame for the magic I cast to end the battle, and died to save A's life. A berated me for having a sorcerer for a friend, even while my friend still burned on his pyre. _

_A is not ready to know who I am. I'm not sure if he ever will be. I wanted to believe that he came here because he felt something more for me than master and servant, and perhaps he grudgingly does, but I still have visions of him running me through without a thought if he ever really knew who and what I am. That's not friendship; I'm not really sure what that is. The creature says this is destiny that we are two sides of the same coin, and that one side cannot truly hate itself. We don't hate each other, if anything this passed year has taught me a great respect and affection for him. But A doesn't know who I am, can never know not as things stand right now, so we can't be friends. What we have isn't a relationship of equals; it's not the noble and peasant thing that A sees either. What it is, what it will always be, until A can accept magic as a force for good, all we can ever be to each other is a lie._

* * *

Authors Notes:

Thanks for all the continued kind words and reviews. I would like to point out that I have finally fixed the timeline for this story it takes places in the gap between season three and four. I haven't decided if I'll continue to the events of Darkest Hour or not, we'll have to see which way the wind blows.

Later

Cynic


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

* * *

"I don't get this!" said Arthur standing up to stretch his legs, and work off a little frustration. His burn was much better, but it still ached when the muscle was worked.

"What don't you get?" asked Merlin looking up from his writing.

"This warlock claims to have all this power, and yet all he does is complain about not being able to tell people."

"Well if it's anything like being here, if he told someone he'd get executed. I imagine that would be quite stressful," said Merlin.

"But why doesn't he use his powers to make everyone okay with his magic? Or if he's as powerful as he claims why doesn't he take over the kingdom and make magic legal again?" asked Arthur.

"Maybe he doesn't want to force people to accept him," said Merlin, "maybe he wants to be understood."

"Doesn't that seem just a bit pathetic?" asked Arthur.

"How so?" Merlin asked.

"Poor me, I've got all the power in the world, but what I really want is someone to like me?" Arthur made a face.

"Is that your line?" Merlin asked.

"Excuse me?" said Arthur.

"Your entire life you've been a prince, someone with title and privilege and responsibility," said Merlin.

"So?" said Arthur.

"So how many times have you complained that people only ever see the crown and not Arthur? It seems to be you might be more sympathetic to someone who doesn't want to be judged solely on the circumstances of their birth," said Merlin with a shrug.

Arthur scowled at him and sat at the table to rest his leg.

"But if he has the power to do so much, why is he still hiding behind this nobleman's son?" asked Arthur.

"Remember when your father thought that old sorcerer had cast a spell on you and Gwen to make you fall in love?" asked Merlin.

"The one you let escape because you were still drunk from spending the day in the tavern?" asked Arthur.

Merlin scowled.

"What if you found out that you have been under a spell these last few years, that your feelings for Gwen are not real but magic, how would you feel?"

"What do you mean?" asked Arthur frowning.

"Well imagine waking up to realize everything you've done, everything you've felt for Gwen has all been the result of a spell and now you feel nothing for her," said Merlin.

"That could never happen," said Arthur so certainly it made Merlin smile.

"Okay, then look at it on the flip side, what if a spell was cast to remove those feelings or hide them? You woke up one day having no feelings for Gwen you treat her like a maid order her about, dismiss her maybe laugh if one of your noble friend's cops a feel when she's making up the chamber."

"I would never!" cried Arthur.

"Remember in this scenario the spell makes it so you have no special feelings towards Gwen, she's just any other servant, and don't pretend like your noble friends haven't grabbed their share of chamber maids in their time," said Merlin pointing at Arthur.

"I suppose you would know Merlin, you are such a girl," said Arthur.

"This is serious," said Merlin, "and don't knock it, I've had to keep my eyes on a fair few courtiers hands as I've made my rounds about the castle."

"The courtiers? Here?" Arthur shook his head, and Merlin smirked, "Anyway," said Arthur, "you were saying?"

"So you've gone the whole day treating Gwen like a servant, and basically dismissing her as a human being," said Merlin and quickly continued before Arthur could jump in. "Next day, the spell is broken you're you again, happy floaty Gwen feelings and all. How do you feel about what happened?"

Arthur took a few seconds to consider the answer, he didn't want to confess to Merlin that he knew that how he used to treat servants was deplorable, but he did want to find out where this was going.

"I guess, I'd feel bad about treating Gwen that way, I'd try to make it up to her as quickly as possible," said Arthur.

"How would you feel about the person who put the spell on you?" asked Merlin.

"I'd be extremely angry, both for messing with me and for the hurt done to Gwen," said Arthur.

"There you go then," said Merlin.

"Then what?" asked Arthur, "What have we just spend the last ten minutes discovering?"

"Why your warlock didn't use magic to make people like him," said Merlin.

"How do you work that out?" asked Arthur.

"Magic isn't permanent Arthur, spells get broken all the time, and what happens? The person who was enchanted turns on the person who cast the spell. Maybe your warlock would rather spend the time to cultivate a real friendship rather than take a shortcut that would eventually blow up in his face."

Arthur narrowed his eyes at Merlin.

"Why is it, that just when I think I've figured you out, you go and say something that almost sounds clever?" asked Arthur.

"Just keeping you on your toes," said Merlin smiling and getting back to his notes.

Arthur picked up the diary again and found his place.

_So much has happened in the past month, the kingdom has barely recovered from the famine and the drought caused by the curse, when the next thing pops up. The next thing being bandit sorcerers and magic stones, and worse they've got L and her family mixed up in it too. T was innocent and so were most of the villagers that Noble had put to death yesterday, they didn't even know the men they helped had magic, but that didn't matter they aided magical people so they were the enemy. I'd like to think A wouldn't do something like that, but the situation didn't bother him as much as I would have liked. _

_So I have a choice to make, I've stumbled on something here, something big. I know bigger than sorcerers and griffins? Yes, absolutely because those things threaten innocent lives and so stopping them was only a question of how and let's go. In this case the life in danger is far from innocent, in fact I dare say he's directly and indirectly responsible for more deaths than any of the magical creatures I've slain this year._

Arthur blinked he wondered who the warlock was talking about.

_I am of course talking about our lord and master sovereign of the city Noble himself. He has caused the deaths of hundreds perhaps thousands of people, people with magic, people sympathetic to people with magic, people suspected of having magic, people who don't have magic but generally got in the way, they all got it in the neck from this man. I'm not saying that some of them didn't deserve punishment for committing crimes using magic, but we're not talking about old men in beards here casting fireballs around. These were women and children, innocents but for the fact they possessed or in the case of the children had the possibility of possessing magic. I don't know what kind of a person could order the death of a child and still hold his head up in the world. At least I know A would never do that. _

_I have uncovered a plot to kill Noble orchestrated from within the city, and aided by the sorcerers that T was working with. M will draw him out, and they will kill him. I don't know what to do, if I use magic to save him and I am caught Noble will kill me, and if I don't and he dies it makes me complicit. _

_G says that A is not ready to take Noble's place and that Noble is a good man, with a certain blindness, but that he has made the city great and strong. He made difficult choices in unwinnable situations. Perhaps this whole thing started with good intentions, but now it's devolved, Noble's hatred for all things magic stems from something other than his desire to keep the kingdom safe, it's something personal, and I can tell that G will never willingly tell me what it is._

_The creature says if it is Noble's time to die then let A's time come and bring with it the mighty city and time of peace. How can peace be made from the blood of another?_

_L is the most beautiful person I know, and don't mean her face. Though she is a sight to see. Her father has died at the order of Noble, and she told me if she had the power to kill him, she wouldn't because killing him for all the wrong he'd done wouldn't fix anything and it would make her a murderer. She was right, of course she was right. I ran straight out to find M and Noble. I knocked out two of the sorcerer's men before the sorcerer himself used the stone against me, and knocked me out cold. Luckily, M had a change of heart and together she and Noble defeated the last man. I'm glad that it worked out, I don't know if I could have lived with myself if Noble died and it was within my power to stop it. I'm not sure A would ever forgive me if I was even partially responsible for the death of his father._

_Oh well, back to the status quo then, bring on the next scary monster, I much prefer that, to these ethical dilemmas. _

Arthur turned the page and found the final entry scrawled quickly in the back page of the book.

_This will be my final entry, I'm leaving tonight for the isle of the blessed and I plan to trade my life for that of A. The Questing Beast has bitten him and there is nothing that G can do he will die from the wound as does everyone who is bitten by the creature. But he cannot die I refuse to allow it. A has become so much more than the arrogant ass I met a year ago, he is becoming the leader he is meant to be. My life has always been secondary to his and if it has to be the price for the destiny we share then so be it. It is a price I pay without hesitation._

_G, if you are reading this, tell my mother I love her and that I filled these pages with my adventures. _

_A, if you ever read this, I hope you understand better who I am and what I have done for you. Thank you for the opportunity to watch you grow, and I hope that you will continue on this path to the great man I know you can be. I have promised to serve you to the end of my life, however long or short that maybe. I wish you well._

Arthur closed the book and sat back in his chair. He was alone now; Merlin had gone to bed an hour before leaving with a yawn and a wave. So the warlock sacrificed himself for A, or he was about to when he finished the book. Arthur couldn't wrap his mind around it; magic users were selfish and power hungry he's been taught this since he could remember. Why would a magical person go out of his way to sacrifice his life for someone else? How did that make sense? There was no upside to that equation.

* * *

Author's Notes: Virtual chocolates to everyone! Because who doesn't love chocolate? I hope everyone is having a fabulous week and enjoys this latest installment. I am thoroughly enjoying writing this story so I hope you guys get as much out of it as I do.

Later

Cynic


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

* * *

Arthur stood on the palace steps waiting for Gwen to ride in. She had been away taking care of a sick friend, and finally a message had come that she was on her way home.

Arthur grinned as Gwen jumped down off her horse and rushed over to him.

"I missed you so much," she said, allowing herself to be folded into Arthur's arms.

"I missed you too," said Arthur kissing her forehead. "Is you friend alright?"

"She's fine," said Gwen. She pulled back from Arthur and looked around.

"Where's Merlin?" she asked.

Arthur frowned, "I haven't seen him this morning actually."

"I want to see him and Gaius as well," said Gwen.

"I have to stop in to see Gaius anyway I need more salve for my leg," said Arthur.

"What happened to your leg?" asked Gwen.

* * *

They walked to Gaius' chambers while Arthur explained about the sorcerer and the fire and that Merlin had been injured too, so he was giving him light duties until Gaius said he was OK. Gwen smiled at that.

"Gaius?" Gwen called out as they entered the room.

Gaius came down the stairs to Merlin's room, looking tired, but he smiled when he saw Gwen.

"My dear," he said holding out his arms, "how good to see you, how was your journey?"

"Good," said Gwen, "Melissa responded to the treatment exactly as you said, she's fine now."

"I'm so glad to hear it," said Gaius, he looked up and saw Arthur stood in the doorway, "Sire, I'm sorry I didn't see you there, you'll be wanting some more salve. I can get that for you." He moved to his workbench and started to go through some of the bottles and jars there.

"We're also here to see Merlin," said Gwen.

"I'm sorry dear, Merlin's sick today, he can't have any visitors," said Gaius.

"Sick?" asked Arthur surprised, "why haven't I heard anything about it?"

"I'm sorry sire, I meant to send a messenger, but it came on so suddenly I haven't had time to call for one," said Gaius.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Gwen.

"An infection," said Gaius, "Merlin was burned in the attack a few days ago."

"He seemed fine last night," said Arthur.

"When I changed the bandage last night I saw that it was already swollen and red, he developed a fever in the night," said Gaius.

"That's unusual that it would develop so fast isn't it?" asked Gwen.

"It was a magical fire," said Gaius, "it must have done more damage than I originally saw."

"Can we see him?" asked Gwen.

"I'm sorry," said Gaius, "but I don't want him exposed to any other contaminants that might make him worse, you understand."

"Of course," said Gwen, "let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

"Of course," said Gaius, he turned to Arthur, "how is your leg sire? I should examine it in case you develop an infection like Merlin."

"It's fine, it doesn't even hurt anymore," said Arthur, he stepped forward and rolled up his pant leg. Gaius had him sit down and he removed the bandage.

"It looks clean," said Gaius, wrapping him back up, "keep going with the salve and keep a close eye on it." He handed Arthur the jar.

"Let me know if there's any change with Merlin," said Arthur, "if you need anything it's yours."

"Thank you sire," said Gaius.

* * *

Gwen and Arthur went to Arthur's chambers. Gwen rolled her eyes at the mess and immediately started cleaning up. Arthur stopped her.

"Gwen you are not a servant anymore," said Arthur gently.

"I have always been a servant, Arthur, I cannot just stop because…" she looked away from him.

"You are with me," said Arthur, "you cannot spend your days in the kitchens anymore."

"I have to do something," said Gwen, "I cannot be idle."

"My father needs an aid," said Arthur, "he has not recovered since Morgana. I know that he would benefit from your kindness, your compassion." He brushed her hair back from her face.

"I would be honored to care for your father," said Gwen smiling, "but just because I'm not a maid anymore doesn't mean I can ignore a mess." She moved over to the table and started looking through the papers there.

"I've had Merlin pulling archive records trying to get a better idea of what the state of affairs is in the five kingdoms so we can start putting things back together," said Arthur, starting to close some of the books and help tidy the papers.

"What have you been doing while Merlin did all this?" asked Gwen gesturing to the papers. She placed the diary on the top of the stack.

"Reading up on my history," said Arthur, "Mostly from this." He picked up the diary and showed it to her. "It's really interesting and a little frustrating."

"You read that?" asked Gwen, "Does Merlin know?"

"Of course," said Arthur, "we've been trying to figure out whose diary it is."

"I don't understand," said Gwen frowning.

"Merlin brought it up from the archive, it's a diary of someone who lived in one of the main cities in the five kingdoms, and get this he had magic!"

"Magic?" asked Gwen.

"Yes, apparently it's possible to be born with magic, he calls himself a warlock. It's actually quite interesting to read how a ban on magic would impact someone who doesn't choose to practice it but has the power anyway," said Arthur.

"You talked with Merlin about this?" asked Gwen.

Arthur nodded, "He was actually quite insightful."

"Merlin is a smart man," said Gwen looking at the book.

"Well, man is pushing it," said Arthur with a smirk. Gwen pulled up a chair and sat down and Arthur followed suite.

"Tell me about the warlock then," said Gwen.

"Well I think he's a young man, he was sent to the city by his mother who was afraid his magic would be discovered. He has a guardian in the city and he gets into all kinds of trouble, and he defended a peasant from being picked on by the ruling noble's son. The nobleman's son sounds like a bit of a prick, if you ask me," Gwen stifled a laugh at that, and Arthur smiled at her. "So there's a magical attack on the city, the noble's son, the warlock calls him A, is targeted and he saves the guy's life with magic, but no one notices that bit. So the Noble awards the warlock the job of being A's servant. Neither of them is pleased with the idea, but then the warlock gets told that his power is meant to be used for good to help this A become a good leader for his people. It's a really good read, almost like an adventure story with all the magical creatures and evil sorcerers in it."

"Arthur?" asked Gwen she was looking at him strangely.

"What is it?" Arthur frowned at her.

"This story, the boy who saves the noble man's son, and becomes his servant, that doesn't sound familiar to you?" she asked.

"I think I would remember if I'd heard the story before," said Arthur, "I just wish I knew what happened to him."

"Why?" Gwen asked.

"The last entry, for some reason this warlock got it into his head to ride off and make a deal to trade his life for the life of the nobleman's son. It's what I don't understand about this whole thing," said Arthur.

"What's that?" asked Gwen.

"This person, has magic, and everything I've ever been taught or learned about magic is that it's evil. But this warlock, everything he does with his power is to protect people, save them even. Even if it could be considered that this warlock was using his power to ingratiate himself into the royal court so he could be close enough to unleash a larger plan, it doesn't hold up. His final act is to completely give his life away because he has faith that this noble's son can become a better leader than his father. That is far and away the least likely thing I would peg for a magical person to do." Arthur sighed, "It makes me question everything. I look at Morgana and what she has done and it confirms everything my father taught me about magic corrupting a person, but I can't help thinking that if magic were legal Morgana could have told us what was happening and she could have learned to control her power and not become so angry and bitter about having to hide and fear what she was."

"It sounds like you've got some hard thoughts to think," said Gwen, she got up and kissed him briefly, "I'll see you tomorrow, I'm going to check on Merlin first thing. Perhaps we can take a walk after breakfast?"

"It's a date," said Arthur smiling.

* * *

Arthur slept fitfully, his dreams were a jumble of the events from the diary, and things that had happened in Camelot over the last several years ending finally with the most recent attack, he awoke with a jolt feeling the heat from the flames rushing towards him even as he was pulled back from their path.

George was waiting to help him get dressed, and while the young man's quiet competence was useful, Arthur found he missed Merlin's pathological chirpiness first thing in the morning. Partly, he missed having a reason to throw things at someone.

Arthur ate breakfast alone leafing through Merlin's notes on the five families. The factual information was clear concise and useful, but Merlin had also scrawled passages of information he'd gleaned from other sources like the fact that Lord Scripture couldn't read so he had an 'advisor' on hand whenever anything was to be read. Or that Lady Blossom had a reputation as a flirt with the men in her court, but she had never taken a man to bed, and could more often be found in the company of women. Arthur wondered where Merlin could possibly have dug that up from but shook his head it probably wouldn't do to ask. He tried to read more, but it was like the words kept shifting out of focus for him and all he could see were the whole passages like his brain was trying to tell him something, but he couldn't for the life of him think what it was. After a few more minutes he decided to give it up, and go see if he could catch Gwen at Gaius's and yes, if he were truly honest he wanted to check on Merlin too.

* * *

"Sire!" called Gaius walking down the corridor from his chambers, "I have your salve here." He patted his bag; "I'll leave it in your chambers when I make my rounds."

"I appreciate that," said Arthur, "I was on my way to your chambers, I wanted to see if I could catch Gwen she said she'd be stopping by to see Merlin. How is he by the way?"

"Much better, I'm pleased to say, the treatment I tried worked perfectly!" Gaius grinned, "he's still weak, but he'll be up and around tomorrow, he can probably return to full duties in another week or so we'll see how the arm continues to heal."

"I'm glad to hear it, has Gwen been by? I'm sure she'd like to hear the good news," said Arthur.

"Actually, she's sitting with Merlin now, I made him some broth but he's a little uncoordinated with the spoon right now so she volunteered to help."

"Was he really that ill?" asked Arthur concerned.

"I'm afraid so, sire," said Gaius, "he's either very lucky, or very strong willed.

"Or both," said Arthur, "I'll just go check on them then."

Gaius bowed and left and Arthur continued up the stairs.

* * *

Arthur stepped into Gaius's chamber quietly and closed the door; he could hear Gwen talking inside Merlin's room.

"This is a nasty trick to play Merlin," said Gwen, Arthur could tell that she was angry but was still keeping it under control probably because of Merlin's condition.

"It's not a trick," said Merlin, his voice sounded low almost hoarse.

"He said it's about a warlock, a person with magic," said Gwen, "and he doesn't seem to notice how ridiculously similar the story sounds."

"He doesn't want to see the truth yet, and neither do you," said Merlin.

"Merlin, I've seen that book a thousand times, Arthur has too he probably just hasn't put the two together yet," said Gwen, "why would you do this?"

"I'm tired," said Merlin.

"Should I get Gaius?" asked Gwen suddenly sounding concerned for a different reason.

"No," said Merlin, "I was answering your question, I gave him the book because I'm tired. I'm tired of hiding, I thought if he saw what it was like from the beginning maybe he'd understand, but he doesn't even see what he's reading. All this time staring him in the face, he will never open his eyes to see me."

"But…" said Gwen her voice catching, she sounded like she might be on the brink of tears, "my god, Merlin, it's you."

* * *

Author's Notes: A thousand and one apologies for the long wait, I moved life happens etc. I hope this makes up for it :) Needless to say things are going to get pretty interesting from here on out. Also virtual chocolate for everyone, and for those who don't like chocolate, virtual cakes virtually fat free!

Later Cynic.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Arthur was suddenly out of Gaius's chambers and back up in his room. He didn't remember how he'd got up there, but judging by his racing heart he'd run.

George was in the room straightening up, but when he saw Arthur he left quickly closing the door behind him.

Arthur sat down in his chair by the empty fireplace, he tried to match what he'd read, with what he'd heard, and what he knew to be true.

"But it's impossible," said Arthur.

"Is it?" Arthur looked up sharply Gwen stood in the doorway. "Merlin wanted to come talk to you after we heard you leave, but he's still too weak to get out of bed."

"How can this be? It's Merlin," said Arthur, as if this would explain his confusion.

Gwen smiled, but she had tears in her eyes, as she knelt down next to him.

"Of course it is," she said holding his hand.

"He's my best friend," said Arthur.

"I know," said Gwen.

"How can I trust him now?" asked Arthur.

"That's something you're going to have to figure out for yourself," said Gwen.

* * *

Arthur stayed in his rooms all day; he gave the order he was not to be disturbed, and to his credit George managed to some how get in and out with lunch before Arthur even realized he was there.

Just after noon, there was a knock on the door.

"I gave orders I was not to be disturbed!" Arthur called.

"Perhaps I can be of assistance in your deliberations." Gaius stood in the antechamber.

"There's nothing you can say that can make this better," said Arthur, "you have lied to me as well."

"I do not defend my actions, I deceived you and your father willingly and without hesitation," said Gaius.

"Why?" Arthur asked.

"For Merlin," said Gaius; "the first time we met he saved my life, when not twenty minutes before he's stood and watched a man die for using magic."

"I'm aware of what Merlin has done," said Arthur.

"Merlin has done nothing except everything in his power to save you, and me, Gwen, and everyone he cares about, and all of Camelot besides," said Gaius.

"He lied to me," said Arthur.

"Do you blame him?" asked Gaius.

"No," said Arthur, "I don't." He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Five years!" he said suddenly standing up. "I have shared my entire life with him, he knows everything about me!" He started pacing the room agitatedly, "I trusted him with everything! Five years Gaius! Why did he never tell me?"

"I did."

They both turned to see who else had ignored Arthur's orders.

"Merlin!" cried Gaius rushing over to him. Merlin stood leaning against the doorframe, he looked like he was about to keel over. "You shouldn't be out of bed." Gaius helped him sit down at the table and got him some water.

"I think I would remember if you told me you had magic," said Arthur trying not to be swayed by Merlin's pale face, his arm was still in a sling and he wore his jacket and boots over his nightshirt.

"I told you point blank, but you never even considered the possibility that I was more than what you saw," said Merlin, he nodded thanks to Gaius, but looked back to Arthur, "That first year, I told you I had magic, I announced it to the whole court. I confessed to healing Gwen's father when the afanc was in the water supply. You laugh every time I tell you I've saved your life many times. I hoped showing you the diary would help you put the pieces together lead you to the truth, but even then you could not see the reality in front of you." Merlin's strength was waning; he was sweating from his exertions and what little color he started with had drained out of his face. The diary was sat on the table Merlin picked it up. "I showed you the first year, because I felt that would help you see how hard it was for me to keep the secret; to find a place here in this world, where simply being alive was a crime punishable by death! But I didn't account for how truly dense you are when it comes to things that threaten your cozy black and white world.

"Yes, you could question magic when the warlock is probably dead or a hundred miles away, but I have always been here right in front of you and you never questioned my actions, or my injuries. Never asked for explanations for my disappearances.

"Did you seriously believe with all my duties from you and Gaius I spent as much time as you believed in the tavern? How many fallen tree branches, mysterious rock falls, creatures slain while you were out cold have you just ignored? I haven't really been hiding for a long time you've just been too blind to see what's right in front of you." He laid the book on the table and looked down on it, "I cast a spell on the diary to only show events from the first year, and only things that were not Camelot specific." Merlin placed his hand on the cover of the book, "íewan," his eyes glowed, and he seemed to deflate further. Arthur stepped back from Merlin's magic. The whole time Merlin was talking he'd been trying desperately to think of a way for this not to be real, but Merlin had just done magic, and there was no going back from that. "I'm going to be sick for a few more days," Merlin was looking at him with tired eyes, "I suppose you have that time to figure out what you want to do with me."

"Do?" asked Arthur confused.

"Last I checked magic was still illegal," said Merlin a faint smile on his face.

"Oh, yeah," said Arthur, he'd almost forgotten the law.

Gaius helped Merlin to stand and they were almost out the door when Arthur called to them.

"What did you do?" he asked, "to the book?"

"Now it will show you everything," said Merlin and he shuffled out of the room with Gaius.

* * *

Arthur spent a day ignoring the book; it stayed on the table exactly where Merlin had left it. If asked he would never admit to be being afraid of the book, but he was. He was afraid of what the book would show him now.

He went to sleep that night wondering how things go so complicated.

* * *

Merlin stood in the middle of the council chamber.  
"Gwen is not the sorcerer. I am!" he cried.

"This is madness!" said Arthur, "There's no way Merlin is a sorcerer."

Arthur was standing with Merlin in his chambers, Merlin was pleading with him about something.

"I'm your friend," said Merlin.

"No, Merlin you're my servant," said Arthur coldly.

Arthur and Merlin were sat outside talking.

"We're going to stay," Merlin was saying, "We're going to fight, and we're going to win."

"Merlin, it can't be done. The odds are too great," said Arthur.

"It can. We're going to make Kanen rue the day he ever came to this village. All you need to do is get the men ready for battle, and the rest will take care of itself." Merlin was the picture of absolute confidence, but Arthur still voiced his doubts.

"How?" he asked.

"You've just got to believe in them," said Merlin fixing Arthur with a stern look, "Because if you don't, they'll sense it, and the battle'll be lost before it's even begun."

Merlin stood in Arthur's chambers.

"I'm happy to be your servant. Till the day I die," he said.

"Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. Other times..." Arthur shook his head.

"Well, I know you. And you're a great warrior. One day, you'll be a great king," Merlin smiled almost sadly.

"That's very kind of you," said Arthur, but he was confused about why Merlin was there.

"But you must learn to listen as well as you fight," said Merlin seriously.

"Any other pointers?" The sarcasm didn't deter Merlin, he just kept on to finish what he had to say.

"No," he said, "That's it. Just...don't be a prat."

Merlin was always strange, but this time; why did it feel like he was saying goodbye?

Merlin was helping Arthur prepare for battle, and then he picked up a sword for himself.

"What are you doing?" asked Arthur.

"I'm coming with you," said Merlin.

"Merlin, the chances are I'm going to die."

"Yeah," Merlin smiled at him, "Yeah, you probably would if I wasn't there."

"Right," Arthur scoffed.

"Do you know how many times I've had to save your royal backside?" asked Merlin.

"Well at least you got your sense of humor back," said Arthur.

Arthur was stood dressed in his ceremonial robes and Merlin stood behind him holding his ceremonial sword.

"What's wrong?" asked Merlin

"You wouldn't understand, Merlin. You have no idea what it's like to have a destiny you can't escape," Arthur sighed.

"Destinies are troublesome things," said Merlin handing Arthur the sword. "You feel trapped, like your whole life has been planned out for you and you've got no control over anything, and sometimes you don't even know if what destiny decided is really the best thing at all."

The world shifted around Arthur, until all he could hear was Merlin's voice.

"You are destined to be King, but you have a choice as to how you do it."

"This is one of those moments where I tell you something isn't a good idea and you ignore me, isn't it?"

"Well, it's a good job I was here, otherwise you'd be wyvern fodder by now."

"One more minute, and you both would've been dead. Neither of you won. You're plan was a half-baked disaster, and if it was not for that fire we would all be pushing up daisies."

Then Arthur was sat in a cave looking up at Merlin stood next to him.

"You have a duty to your father, to your people. You can't give up on them now," said Merlin.  
"You cannot defeat an immortal army," said Arthur.  
"We don't know until we try," said Merlin.

Merlin and Arthur sat on the castle steps watching the reconstruction and enjoying a joke.  
"Perhaps we're heading for a new time. You may need to take charge, become ...become King," said Merlin.  
"Who knows what the future will bring," said Arthur.

Arthur began to turn over in his sleep and his dreams began to change.

Percival was carrying Merlin's limp form flanked on either side by knights.

An old man with long grey hair, sat by a fire crying.

Merlin stood in the road looking at him and struck from behind by a rider swinging a mace. Arthur watched helpless as he fell to the ground.

Arthur and Merlin were crouched in a castle ruin.

"You just don't know how many times I've saved your life," said Merlin.

Arthur screamed, and Merlin was on the ground; his eyes staring sightlessly out of his frost covered face.

Merlin stood on a pyre in the middle of a courtyard. The flames surrounded him and he looked up, saw Arthur, and smiled.

* * *

Arthur sat up in bed, shivering with sweat rolling off his body.

"Sire?" He looked up surprised to see daylight streaming into his windows, "Are you awake?" What kind of stupid question is that? Thought Arthur of course he was awake. "I'll fetch the physician." George slipped from the room without another word.

"Sire," said Gaius, "I'm so glad to see you're awake, you had us worried."

"What happened?" asked Arthur, he suddenly felt light-headed and needed to lie down again.

"You've had a fever, you've been delirious for days, sire," said Gaius.

"Delirious?"

"One of the guards sent for me when they heard you screaming," said Gaius, "it must have been a pretty bad nightmare."

"A nightmare?" Arthur sighed in relief and relaxed back into his pillows, "So it was just a dream?"

* * *

Author's notes: Wow! You guys are making my ego so fat, I'm going to have to cut down on all these virtual treats! You all can have anything you want from the all-you-can-eat virtual buffet, there's an omelet station, a carvery, a chocolate fountain, and five different kinds of desert! Thank you all so much, I hope you continue to enjoy this as much as I do.

Later, Cynic.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"A nightmare?" Arthur sighed in relief and relaxed back into his pillows, "So it was just a dream?"

"Probably very vivid," said Gaius.

"Why do you say that?" asked Arthur.

"Well you were screaming Sire," said Gaius, "and Merlin said his were pretty graphic too."

"Merlin?" asked Arthur, "Why would he know?"

"Merlin was sick too," said Gaius, "the infection was from the fire. It took longer to develop in you because your burn was much less severe than his."

"I forgot my salve," said Arthur numbly. For about thirty seconds he had almost believed that the last couple of weeks had been a dream, and he hadn't really found out that Merlin was a warlock and had been lying to him for five years. "Merlin's fever broke over night," said Arthur.

"Merlin is a special case, the severity of the burn made the infection more intense, but his own magic helped him to fight it," said Gaius.

"How is he?" asked Arthur.

"He's been by your side every moment since he recovered from his own illness, though I would have liked him to rest for another day, I knew I couldn't keep him away," said Gaius, "he was getting a change of clothes when George sent for me. We didn't know if you would want to see him."

"I'm tired," said Arthur avoiding the question.

"Of course, Sire," said Gaius, "I'll have George bring you something to eat in a few hours."

* * *

When Arthur woke up again Gwen was sitting by his bed reading Merlin's diary.

"What are you doing?" asked Arthur.

"Merlin said I could read it," said Gwen putting down the book. She moved to sit on the bed next to him, "Did you read the part where Merlin transformed himself into the ancient sorcerer Dragoon, so that you could catch him planting the love potion and your father wouldn't kill me for being a witch?"

"No," said Arthur, "I didn't see that part. Though it makes sense who else would fake casting a love spell?"

"Only your best friend," said Gwen.

"Why is this so hard to accept?" asked Arthur struggling into a sitting position.

"Perhaps it's because he's the one that helped you open up," said Gwen, she smiled at him, "I grew up in this palace my mother was a maid to Sir Leon's family until she died and I was made Morgana's servant when she came to live here when I was barely older than she was."

"What's your point?" asked Arthur.

"My point is you didn't look twice at me until Merlin came around," said Gwen.

"Merlin didn't make me fall in love with you," Arthur protested.

"No," said Gwen holding Arthur's hand, "but he does treat everyone like an equal, and by doing so he brought us into line of sight."

"I don't understand," said Arthur.

"Merlin doesn't treat anyone any differently because of their station. He looked you dead in the eyes and didn't blink even when he found out you were a prince it doesn't matter to him, and it didn't matter that I was a woman or a maid, we became friends because he treated me as an equal even asking for my advice and help when he was learning the ropes of being a servant. Merlin has neither the pride to refuse help when it's needed nor the arrogance to overlook someone that needs his help."

"Well, if Merlin is so great then why aren't you with him?" asked Arthur pouting.

"You are extremely handsome," said Gwen smiling, Arthur just looked at her confused, "but I could never see how truly beautiful you were until Merlin helped pull you down off that pedestal. I think that's what helped you too, you would never have gotten close enough to me as a person and not simply as a maid if you hadn't seen Merlin treat me the same way he treats you. Not everything that Merlin has done to save you has been with magic."

Arthur leaned back.

"Since Merlin came to the city my father has been giving me more responsibility, and more autonomy. I was such a little snot when we met, mostly because I was bored; Merlin was the most interesting thing to happen to me in months perhaps years. He never knew where the boundaries were, and I didn't stamp on him hard about it, because I enjoyed the challenge he represented. You're right," he looked at Gwen, "I opened myself up to him, and I'm pissed because he hid the largest part of himself from me. I don't blame him for hiding his magic that first year, but it's been so long now, why has he waited so long to tell me? Why did he have to do it like this?"

"I think you're wrong," said Gwen, "Yes, I think Merlin held back something, something that has huge consequences for both him and you, but I don't think he held back from your friendship. You have his respect, and friendship and what's more you earned that. He couldn't cast a spell to make him like you more. Be proud that Merlin saw enough in you that he stayed and allowed himself to be subservient to you for so long. He could have left at any time and set himself up. With his power he could have ruled, but he didn't. He stayed here to polish your armor."

"He told me that casting spells to make people do what you want always backfires on the caster when the spell wears off. I guess doing things the hard way is the only way to make sure they'll last," said Arthur, "I need to speak to him."

"I'm afraid that's going to be a little difficult," Gaius stepped into the chamber at the foot of Arthur's bed.

"Why?" Gwen asked.

"Merlin's gone," said Gaius.

* * *

Author's notes: :) Okay, if you all are really good, I may post mid-week. But only if you're good and only because I expect to be very busy these next few weeks and may have to leave off posting for a while. I'm studying for my teaching certification test. So since I usually provide the snacks, I'm leaving that you guys this time. I'm only offering virtual lemonade, and strawberry cool-aid.

Later Cynic


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

* * *

_Dear Arthur,_

_I'm glad you're okay, I wanted to wait until you recovered from the fever before I left, I needed to be sure that leaving was the best option. I don't want to leave, but I've had a vision. It's so strange writing that knowing that you know about me. The fire that we were burned with wasn't normal fire; it wasn't even normal magical fire. It's a fire used in vision quests, I found a reference to it in Gaius's library. It's an ancient druid ceremony. The druid priests could protect themselves from being burned and stand in the fire; it let them see the future. So I saw a vision of a funeral pyre with a sword and a knight's cloak on top. Gwen was there, crying and I knew that I was seeing your funeral. Because Gregor cast the spell I only got a glimpse, I don't like seeing the future but I have to know what the danger is so I can protect you. It's my duty and my destiny, and even if you never accept me now you know I have magic, I am your friend and I will never let anything happen to you that is in my power to prevent._  
_I hope that you can say the same when, if I return. Thank you for everything._

_Merlin_

Arthur let the note crumple in his fingers. Merlin was gone and that was unacceptable. He sent a patrol to pick up Merlin's trail, but even as he gave the orders Arthur knew it would be useless. Merlin had learned his trail craft from Arthur, and Arthur was the best, and Merlin had magic and Arthur had no idea what he could do if he needed to cover his tracks.

It took two days before Arthur was strong enough to leave his chambers, and two more before Gaius agreed that he was strong enough to try and follow Merlin. The night before he was to set out with the knights, he spoke to Gaius.

They sat in front of the fire. Arthur leaned forward on his elbows.

"When I had the fever, I saw Merlin he was, talking to me like he always does telling me exactly what I don't want to hear, but need to. He always knows what to say to put things into perspective to help me see the way out of whatever I was dealing with. Was that magic? Has Merlin been casting spells to make me feel better?" asked Arthur.

Gaius smiled.

"No, Merlin has only ever used magic in yours or another's defense, and maybe a few chores now and again. When you went to sleep that night you were in torment over Merlin's secret and what that meant for your friendship, the vision fire tapped that worry and showed you that while you didn't know Merlin was a warlock, he has always been there for you when you needed him and he has helped you in so many ways beyond what he hid from you. Merlin is a good man, and loyal friend; those are things beyond titles, and beyond magic and go to the core of a person. I think you knew that already," said Gaius.

Arthur contemplated the fire crackling in the grate.

"I think I've always had an inkling that there was more to him than I first saw, even from our first meeting when he stopped me from tormenting that servant. No one ever spoke to me like he did, no one ever has, without airs or deference in their tone, he spoke to me like he would any man on the street, and I didn't understand then why that was so important and right. I was amused, because he didn't know who I was, I wanted to see his face when he found out, but then the next day, he didn't change his tone, knowing who I was didn't change how he saw me, except I think, it made him think less of me. I think I picked the second fight because I wanted to show him his place with a prince, and then when he saved me, I still didn't understand him, I wanted him to see where he belonged in the scheme of things, and that, that place was below me. I know now that I was a childish and spoiled brat, throwing tantrums and blindly following my father's orders," Arthur smiled, but it twisted into a wince, "All this time I've been trying to show Merlin his place, while he's been making me worthy of mine."

* * *

Merlin's tracks led in three different directions.  
"Where would he go to complete the vision?" asked Arthur standing in on the parapet looking out at the kingdom. Gaius stood next to him.

"If Merlin did go in one of these directions, there are a few possibilities," said Gaius.

"The Forest of Ascetir, the Lake of Avalon, or The Valley of the Fallen Kings."

"Why those places?" asked Arthur.

"The druids reside the in the forest, the lake is a gate way to Avalon, and the crystal cave is in the valley."

"What is the crystal cave?" asked Arthur.

"It's said the crystal cave is the place where magic began, it is where the crystal of Neahtid is from. It's a place where Merlin has seen visions of the future before."

"In his note he said he didn't like seeing the future," said Arthur.

"Merlin has seen the future twice before and both times he was unable to prevent the images he saw, and to some extent his actions actually caused what he feared to come to being," said Gaius.

"Then why is he seeking it out now?" asked Arthur.

"Because he wants to save you," said Gaius, "that's all he ever wants."

* * *

_I'm alive, that was a surprise. I went to the Isle of the Blessed and Nimeuh agreed to trade my life for Arthur's we gave him water from the cup of life and he's fine. Arthur has no idea what happened and Uther thinks Gaius did magic to save him. Hypocrite. I woke up this morning shocked to be alive and Gaius was kneeling over my mother's disease stricken body. Nimueh took her life and not mine. This will not stand, the rules of the old religion be damned, my mother will not die to save me._

Arthur sat in the wood off to the side of the main camp, he'd wanted to go alone but the knights wouldn't hear of it. Arthur refused to take them all so they drew lots and Lancelot and Gwaine were the ones to come. He had decided to continue to read from where he left off, now that the rest of the text was revealed. He related to the agony that Merlin must have gone through thinking he was the cause of his mother's pain and eventual death.

_I intend to return to the island and force Nimueh to take my life for my mother's, I saw Arthur, I told him not to be a prat. That's as close to goodbye as I'll ever get. Sometimes I think he's close to seeing the real me, and then others it's like he's pulled a curtain down over anything he can't explain. I have to go, I'm leaving in the morning and I want to say goodbye my mother._

"Arthur?"  
He looked up and saw Lancelot leaning over him with a plate of food.

"I'm not hungry," he said.

"Gaius said you need to keep your strength up," said Lancelot.

Arthur glared at him, "I said I don't want any."

"If we're going to find Merlin you need to take care of yourself," said Lancelot offering the plate again. Arthur took it grudgingly.

"What are you reading?" asked Lancelot sitting down with his own plate of food.

"Merlin gave me his diary," said Arthur picking at the food.

"Why would he do that?" asked Lancelot looking at Arthur carefully.

"He wanted me to understand him for who he really is," said Arthur.

"And who is that?" asked Lancelot.

"A warlock, a creature of magic who has been saving my life since he came to Camelot," said Arthur. He watched Lancelot's face break into a smile. "You knew, didn't you? He helped you slay the griffin with magic and you knew what he was. You kept his secret even though you'd only known him a few days."

"Merlin helped me fulfill my dream of becoming a knight, he saved me and you and all of Camelot when he enchanted that spear. I could not take credit for his actions, and I further could not condemn him for saving us all," said Lancelot.

"No," said Arthur smiling tightly, "Nor can I."

* * *

_Nimueh is dead she tried to kill Gaius, ok well Gaius offered his life to save my mother so that I wouldn't have to, but then she tried to kill me too. She sent a fireball at my chest; burned up my shirt I'm kind of pissed about that. I feel bad that I don't feel worse about what I did. I killed her, she thought I was dead she wasn't attacking anymore, but I thought she'd killed Gaius and I was so angry, the lightening was striking before I even realized that's what I was doing. All in all it worked out I guess, Arthur is fine, my mother is fine, even Gaius is fine. I have to perform my duties with a burned chest, and I need a new shirt, but I think that's a small price to pay. Nimueh was the one who double-crossed me and she paid the ultimate price. I wish I could say I'm sorry, but I'm not. Maybe that makes me the monster, but I'm going to keep looking after mine, because I can't do anything else._

Arthur closed the book, and looked at the fire for a while. Gwaine came back from patrolling the area and sat down, Lancelot gave him a plate and he started to eat.

"So Merlin told you about his magic then," said Gwaine.

"What?" Arthur and Lancelot cried together.

"You knew?" asked Lancelot.

"Of course," said Gwaine grinning, "it's obvious." He continued to eat.

"How did you find out?" asked Arthur, "Did he tell you?"

"No, I figured it out," said Gwaine, "I figured he'd tell me when he was ready, I don't think he knows that I know."

"How did you figure it out?" asked Arthur, "I've spent most of the last five years with him and didn't see it!"

"You weren't looking," said Gwaine.

"And you were?" asked Lancelot interested.

"Oh that's right," said Gwaine nodding, "good ol' Gwaine good with a sword, not much in the brain, spends most of his life in a drunken stupor. Contrary to popular belief I am not some drunken lout, I did have a life before you two walked into that bar and got in over your head."

"I did not get in over my head!" cried Arthur. Gwaine just grinned. "Well I didn't!"

"When did you figure it out?" asked Lancelot.

"Well I suspected when I first met you guys, Merlin is a skinny guy with no obvious fighting skill and yet he wasn't acting scared, he was kind of like me having fun with it, well except that he seemed overly focused on you," he nodded at Arthur.

"He's always like that," said Lancelot, "he deals with what's in front of him and then looks for you."

"So anyway," said Gwaine, "I didn't know for sure what the deal was with Merlin, he's kind of an enigma." Arthur frowned at that. "It just always struck me, that the likes of Merlin was always too good for the likes of you." Gwaine grinned at Arthur. "He was good to me, and he helped me even when I was being a drunken ass, and when I told him about my father, he didn't blink and he didn't stop treating me like a person."

"What about your father?" Arthur asked.

"He was a knight, died in battle before I was born," said Gwaine.

"You're a noble?" asked Arthur surprised.

"No," said Gwaine, "I could never claim that."

"But why would telling Merlin you're of noble blood change the way he saw you?" asked Lancelot.

"People act weird around nobles," said Gwaine, "even someone they were belching with a second ago, one sniff of nobility and it's yes sir, no sir stiffness and bowing. I can't be doing with it." He grimaced at the thought. "But Merlin never blinked an eye, he told me about his father, about only meeting him the once."

"Merlin met his father?" asked Arthur, "When?"

"About a year before I met you," said Gwaine, "he told me he died."

"He never told me that," said Arthur frowning, "but this doesn't explain why you knew Merlin had magic."

"The guardian at the bridge told me," said Gwaine. Arthur's expression froze.

"What guardian?" asked Lancelot.

"The guardian to the realm of the Fisher King," said Gwaine, he looked at Arthur. "Do you want me to tell him?"

"Go ahead," said Arthur. Gwaine grinned.

"So Arthur had set off on some foolish quest to fetch the trident of the Fisher King," Gwaine began.

"It was my final challenge to prove my worthiness as king," said Arthur.

"Anyway," said Gwaine, "Merlin as usual was worried about his royal behind came to find me, and we saved him from a pack of hungry wyvern and found the trident." Arthur scowled.

"Where does the guardian and bridge come in?" asked Lancelot.

"Let me back up," said Gwaine, "there are two stories about the Fisher King, the one that's the official story, probably the one you know about the sorcerer whose infected magic killed his lands and people, but there's the other tale that the druids tell that the Fisher King was cursed to live until freed from his mortal body by Magic."

"Didn't he already have magic?" asked Lancelot.

"The Fisher King's release could only be achieved by the actions of three things Courage, Strength and Magic," said Gwaine.

"Gretier, the guardian on the bridge said that I was courage," said Arthur, "and to complete the quest I would need strength and magic."

"He called me strength," said Gwaine.

"So that leaves magic, as Merlin," said Lancelot.

"How did you know Gratier was right?" asked Arthur, "he could have just been assuming. Merlin could hardly be strength could he?"

"He was there Arthur, no one else would have come after you, and if they did, they would have come armed to the teeth, Merlin ran into that courtyard without so much as a butter knife to defend himself, he ran off a half dozen wyvern before I found you in that tower, being all indignant and ungrateful. Merlin was alone in the throne room, he must have freed the Fisher King before we found the latch."

"Why didn't you say anything?" asked Arthur.

"Merlin's my friend, I figure he had his reasons for keeping it secret and having been on the wrong side of your messed up game of nobles and serfs, I kind of agreed with him," Gwaine shrugged.

They settled down to sleep after that, thinking, considering the man he knew, his friend, and this person he was reading about in the diary, the hardening powerful warlock just learning where the lines were between what he could do and what it was right to do.

* * *

_Arthur must think I am a fool. Cedric is playing him and he will not see passed his arrogant nose and his utter delight at making fun of me. I saved his life today, I magically sent a spear into a wild boar that was about to kill him, everyone else froze but I didn't. Of course because I used magic I couldn't take credit, Cedric did, now he's so far up Arthur's royal ass I wonder if Arthur can still sit down. Gaius is knee deep in this crypt business, and I don't know if I'll have a job tomorrow, maybe it's for the best if Arthur thinks so little of me even after everything we've been through then I'll never win his respect no matter what I do._

Arthur shook his head; he looked at his two sleeping comrades. He would never have met either of them if it weren't for Merlin and he wished that Merlin could see how much Arthur appreciated everything he'd done for them all.

_Gaius says the tomb belongs to Cornelius Sigan and that the gem on the coffin may be his soul. As if booby traps weren't enough now I've got to make sure no wakes up the evil sorcerer._

_Arthur is the fool. Cedric used him to get the keys to the tomb and tried to rob it. He got more than he bargained for. Sigan has possessed Cedric I'm sure of it, but I'm in the dungeons because I tried to warn Arthur about it. I could escape, but what would be the point? I'll just get in more trouble with Arthur. I don't know what Sigan's going to do and I don't know how I'm going to stop him._

Arthur put down the book, and wondered just at what point the entire world was placed in Merlin's hands, and when had it become his job to save them even from their own blindness and stupidity.

* * *

A/N: I'm BAaack! Here's a nice long meaty post for you to chew on while I get myself back up to speed here.

Later Cynic.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

* * *

_Camelot is safe, Sigan's soul is back in its crystal, I may have to pay for that one day, but I had to make the deal with the dragon, without it I could not have defeated Sigan. One day I will free the dragon, but not any time soon. _

_Arthur is still an idiot, but he did come really close to apologizing for throwing me over for Cedric so easily. I should have made him say the actual words but I think it might have given him a stroke or something he looked kind of pale until he turned back into arrogant Arthur again and dumped his armor in the meal Gaius made me as a thank you for saving Camelot again. _

Arthur winced.

_In spite of Arthur's near contriteness he still has no idea that I broke out of the dungeons, and defeated Sigan. The things Sigan said were true it is hard to standby and be abused as an idiot knowing that I have this power; I feel it growing stronger, every time I practice it gets easier to focus. I felt his power and his rage when he possessed me, and I understood how easy it would be to cross that line. It's a temptation I have to live with, and I have a full book of reasons why I shouldn't cross, why I shouldn't use my magic to help myself, to make my life better. It wouldn't be real. You can't change the things that really matter by magic, and I think that's why the sorcerers that have gone bad are so angry. They want to use magic to cut corners and make everything better. But nothing, not even magic, can make everything better._

"Let me go with you," said Lancelot his face a mask of concern. Arthur shook his head.

"I'll enter the druid encampment alone. I do not want to scare them," he said.

"You're the Crown prince of Camelot," said Gwaine with an ironic grin, "your presence alone would frighten them."

"What do you suggest I do?" asked Arthur.

"Let me go alone," said Gwaine, "I've dealt with the druids before, I know what to do and I won't make them worried that their village is about to be attacked either."

"Our insignias and weapons may startle them," said Lancelot.

Gwaine looked around suddenly and shook his head, "No need," he said and before Arthur could ask what he meant four druid elders walked out of the trees.

"Greetings, Arthur Pendragon," said a tall man with wavy brown hair, and short beard, "I am Fas, leader to these that dwell here."

"How do you know me?" asked Arthur.

"Your coming is foretold," said Fas, "we have long awaited our visit from the once and future king."

"I don't understand," said Arthur, "I've come looking for a friend of mine. His name is Merlin."

"I know why you have come Sire," said Fas, "Please follow me." He turned with the other druids back into the forest.

Gwaine shrugged and followed.

* * *

The Druids led the knights through the trees to a small encampment about an hour's walk from where they'd stopped. After a while they walked out of the trees into a clearing in front of a large cave. Around the cave were carved reliefs of two men, one wore a crown and the carried a mighty sword, and the other had long hair and a beard, and held a staff; his eyes seemed to sparkle in the rock face.

"What is this?" asked Arthur.

"This is our temple to Emrys," said Fas, "it is said he will come here to free us from tyranny and return magic to the lands."

"Who is Emrys?" asked Arthur.

"He is the most powerful sorcerer to walk the lands, both before and in the future," said Fas.

"What does this have to do with finding our friend?" asked Lancelot.

"Please," said Fas, "you will find what you seek within." He gestured to the entrance. All three knights went forward, but Fas held up his hand. "This is only for the once and future king."

"What's in there?" asked Gwaine.

"The present, the past, and one possible future," said Fas.

"Possible future?" asked Arthur.

"There are many ways for destiny to unravel, many paths that are created and destroyed," said Fas.

"Will it show me where Merlin is?" asked Arthur.

"If you are truly worthy to walk by his side, you will find the path that leads to his," said Fas.

"You can't seriously be considering going in there," said Gwaine.

"It's a bad idea, sire," said Lancelot, "it could be a trap."

"You can hold a blade to me," said Fas, "and run me through if anything happens to your king." Gwaine started to unsheathe his sword, but Arthur stopped him.

"No, that's okay, I'll be fine," he said.

"If something eats you in there, don't expect tears from me," said Gwaine releasing his sword.

"What do I do?" Arthur asked Fas.

"Walk forward and the path will be revealed to you," said Fas.

Arthur hitched his bag over his shoulder and walked into the darkness of the cave entrance.

He walked for a minute or so into the dimness of the cave, until he heard a huge grinding noise, behind him. He ran back to the entrance but a large slab had slid over the cave mouth, he was trapped.

* * *

It took a few minutes of searching around the sealed cave entrance before, Arthur realized that he should have been in total darkness, but he wasn't.

A blue orb hung in mid air illuminating the cave. He was drawn to it; it looked so much like the one he'd seen in cave beneath the mortius tree. Before he was even aware of what he was doing, he'd reached out and touched the shimmering surface of the orb. It flickered and rippled at his touch, and he snatched his hand away, it was cold so cold to the point of burning.

"Why are you always touching things?"

Arthur spun around and there was Merlin, stood with his arms crossed shaking his head.

"Merlin!" Arthur cried, "Thank god! I've been looking all over for you!" He reached out to grasped Merlin's shoulder but his hand passed right through.

"I'm not Merlin," said Merlin.

"What the hell is this?" Arthur cried.

"I am the image of what you are searching for," said Merlin, "why do you search for such a thing?"

"Merlin's not a thing, he's my friend," said Arthur. The image of Merlin rippled in the glow from the orb.

"What is it that you truly seek Arthur Pendragon?" asked Merlin.

"I need to get out of here," said Arthur, "I need to find my friend."

"Why?" Merlin asked.

"Because he may be in danger," said Arthur.

"Very interesting," said the image of Merlin smirking.

"What?" Arthur asked through gritted teeth.

"You are telling the truth, but an incomplete one," Merlin tilted his head to one side, "what do you seek?" he asked.

"What do you care? You're just some magic trick for pilgrims," cried Arthur banging on the blocked doorway again, "I need to leave, I need to find my friend."

"You cannot leave until you find what you are seeking," said Merlin.

"I can't find Merlin trapped in this cave!"

"You haven't even looked," said Merlin. Arthur turned back from the doorway, and looked at the image of Merlin.

"Is Merlin here?" he asked.

"What you truly seek can be found here," said Merlin, "when you leave you will know where to go."

"You can tell me where Merlin is?" asked Arthur.

"I can show the path to what you truly seek, if this is what you want," said Merlin image serenely. The projection talked in riddles and didn't sound like Merlin at all, but speaking with his face, those words were starting to piss Arthur off.

"Tell me how I can get out of here," said Arthur making an effort not to yell.

"Walk the path set by whom you seek, and you will find the way you need to go," said Merlin's image before winking out.

The light from the orb flickered around the cave, blue and eerie like he was underwater. Arthur didn't like it, it made him feel cold, but all things considered it was better than the dark. The cave didn't offer much in the way of entertainment, just a round room of rough rock walls, no other entrances or exits, a ceiling a few feet over Arthur's head; Just your average cave, with a magical orb in the middle. Arthur had tried touching the orb again to bring back the image of Merlin, but nothing happened.

After yet another thorough examination of the room, and the sealed door, Arthur practically threw himself on the ground in frustration. He pulled open his bag; inside he had some food, a little water, some money, and Merlin's book. He sighed.

"Screw this meditate and have a vision crap, I'm going to read about what happened to Merlin," he said to the empty room and opened the diary.

_Arthur is the ego to end all egos. I may have mentioned this before, a time or two. I think I may have seen a crack in the façade, or a least a shift in his focus. He started this masquerade to prove he was the best, even without royal privilege, but he ended it trying to prove to Gwen he wasn't as much of a royal ass as he likes people to think he is. I think he might have grown up a notch. Gwen certainly notices his newfound maturity. I think she'll be good for him, bring him down to earth. Gwen deserves a chance to be happy; goodness knows she's earned the right. _

_If Arthur makes her happy I'll help them as much as I can, but I won't let him use her like he did Marie. I don't think Arthur knows I know about Marie, or maybe he does because there weren't any others at least that I've seen. Marie was brought in as extra serving staff for a party in the palace. I'd only been working for the prince a couple of months, so I wasn't there I was still doing laundry at half-past darkness. I took the clean clothes up to Arthur's chambers thinking to leave the basket and put them away in the morning. When I walked in a candle was still burning by Arthur's bed, I thought he'd left it burning by accident and fallen asleep before he put it out. I was right, and wrong. Arthur was fast a sleep snoring like a warthog, but Marie was awake, half dressed in her slip and her underskirts, she was just sat there clutching this little cloth sack and crying. She wasn't making any sound, too good of a servant for that, she just sat there letting the tears roll down her face and splash on her arms and hands clutching so tightly to that bag. I must have a made a noise, or taken a breath because she looked up suddenly afraid, when she saw me she had this look of terror in her eyes, it makes me sad even now to think of it. I rushed to her shushing so she wouldn't wake Arthur, even though at that point it would have taken alarm bells to rouse him. I grabbed her dress and shoes from the floor and helped her into the other room. _

"Come on," Arthur looked up from reading and saw Merlin stood in the middle of the cave holding a dress and some leather shoes. He stood looking off to one side and suddenly another projection appeared. It was a young girl, perhaps twenty, possibly younger, she had long curly blonde hair sticking up a in a mess around her head, her eyes were red and puffy and she wore a loose underdress that was falling off her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed, "I should go."

"Let me help you," said Merlin holding out the dress. The girl let loose another sob but covered her mouth quickly.

"I'm sorry," she said again looking on the verge of crying again.

"I just want to help you," said Merlin, "here," he put the dress down on a chair and helped the girl sit down as well. He untied the bandana from around his neck and handed it to her; she wiped her eyes and face.

"Thank you," she said and handed the bandana back, "Who are you?"

"I'm Merlin, I'm his royal pratness's servant," Merlin grinned at her, but it wasn't a happy look.

"I'm Marie, and apparently I'm the prince's whore," she took in a deep breath when she said that as if willing herself not to cry again.

"No," said Merlin, "I'm sure it wasn't like that."

"I didn't think so, I mean I'm not stupid, I know girls like me don't become queen. But I figured maybe something else could be…" she sighed, "I don't think I really considered what would happen after, I didn't think he'd throw me a bag of money and roll over asleep. I didn't think I could feel so empty," she looked at Merlin, "do you know what I mean?"

"Yes," said Merlin grimacing, "Arthur's particularly gifted in making people feel like they're nothing."

Arthur sat frozen watching the scene play out in front of him, he didn't like that look of pain on Merlin's face any more than he liked the look of self-loathing on Marie's. The figures dissolved and Arthur was left staring at the blue orb again.

_I helped Marie get dressed and got her out of the castle, I never saw her again. She said she was going home to her village. I hope that was true. I don't know how many other girls Arthur used and threw away like that. I never saw any others. I'd like to think he's a better man than that now. I hope the chemistry I see between Arthur and Gwen is really there, and that Arthur has truly grown up. I honestly don't know what I'll do if I find Gwen in Marie's place. Probably leave Camelot. Destiny be damned. I don't think I could serve a man who could throw away someone's soul like that. I've thought about telling Gwen about Marie, but she probably already knows, she's spent half her life in the castle. It might be why she never got close to Arthur before, but now I've formed a bridge between them and I hope I haven't made a horrible mistake._

Arthur tried to remember Marie, but he couldn't really place her even the image of her was vague and blurry. He remembered waking up and hearing Merlin speaking to a girl in the antechamber. He'd been half asleep and all he could remember thinking was that Merlin sounded so sad, and he didn't understand why. He did know why he hadn't taken another girl to his bed in the intervening years, love spells not withstanding, he'd gotten tired with the local girls, at least that's what he'd told himself. The truth was that he'd gotten tired of feeling so empty afterwards. He had a void he'd been trying to fill his whole life with duty and honor, and titles, pretty girls had seemed like the next step, but if anything they made it worse. He might have used them, but they used him too, they thought sleeping with a prince would give them status, a position, something better than what they had. But none of them really looked at Arthur and saw a real person, none of them really tried to get to know him. The first girl Arthur had taken to bed had been a noblewoman; she was a few years older than him and had decided that Arthur should become a man. Arthur had tried to court her as he had been taught was the correct fashion, but Melissa didn't care for royal functions and picnics in the woods. She told him he was handsome, and charming and she wanted to give him a gift.

When they lay in bed afterwards, Arthur had told her he loved her, and she had laughed.

"You can't love someone like me Arthur," she said, "I'm everything you hate."

Later they found out that sorcerers had killed the real Lady Melissa on the road to Camelot. Uther sent out search parties to find the imposter, but she was long gone. She had already done her damage; Arthur would not look at a woman with real respect again until Gwen snapped at him about turning his nose up to the food in Ealdor.

* * *

Author's notes: I finally found the end of this thing! Not here obviously, but rest assured there is an end. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I know its a little morose, but it was something I felt needed to be included. Happy New Year all, and don't forget to take a cookie they're virtual and thus no resolutions will be broken if you enjoy one. Later Cynic.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

* * *

_Arthur's definitely got it bad. You don't go traipsing across the kingdom to rescue an adolescent crush. Unfortunately, Lancelot's got it bad too. I mean honestly, all the women in the world and they both have to fall for the same one! It must be some kind of horrible curse, or destiny has a sick sense of humor. Poor Lancelot, he's still loyal to Arthur despite being kicked out on his ear the last time they crossed paths. I wish Lancelot had decided to stay, he's so strong and loyal and honorable to a fault. He's the quintessential knight with the added bonus that he hasn't got any noble blood messing him up. One of these days I'm going get him a knighthood, a real one. I just need to make sure that Arthur and Gwen are solid first. Those two are fighting it hard, Arthur especially, but I have a feeling they'll see their way clear._

Lancelot and Gwen? Arthur frowned, when I had that happened? Neither had ever spoken about it at all. Lancelot was a good man, he left because he saw the growing feeling between Arthur and Gwen and didn't want to get in the way of it. That alone spoke volumes of Lancelot's loyalty to both Arthur and Camelot.

_The Lady Katrina arrived yesterday, she's some old friend of Uther's, he's obviously smitten. She seemed nice, but her toadying assistant had my hackles up, even before Gaius told me that the Katrina he knew had a painful and incurable medical condition. This is not the Lady Katrina. Arthur thinks I'm a pervert, but when I sneaked a look in Katrina's room, I saw her true form, she's a troll and she's after the crown._

_What a week! I'm exhausted; Gaius and I were up all night creating that fake potion so that everyone would see that Uther has married a troll. They all saw, but Uther's deeply under that love spell. The whole idea of them together, is both sickening and hilariously funny! For a second there I was afraid I'd be trapped in that cave forever. As it was I was too late, Uther is married to a troll, and I just can't stop saying it!_

_Katrina might be ugly, but she's smart, I don't know what to do to break the spell she has on Uther. Gaius says I must speak to the great dragon, troll magic is strong but he may know a way to break the spell. But he also said the dragon may be on the side of the troll._

_I told Arthur that I hadn't left when Katrina sicced Uther and the guards on me; he's so flustered he asked me if I'd been hiding under his bed the whole time! I hope that was a joke, because if he was serious we've got a lot more work to do than I thought. I had to tell him that the only way to break the spell was to make his father cry, and the only way to do that was to kill him. Arthur's a prat, but he does trust me, probably more than he realizes, he drank that poison with barely a thought knowing I would only have 30 minutes to bring him back from the brink of death. I've done it before, but he doesn't know that. _

_It was a close one though Jonas knocked me out flat, and the bottle of antidote broke when I fell. Still it all worked out, Arthur came around as soon as I squeezed the antidote out of my bandanna and even though he was still a bit dazed after Katrina flung him at the wall, he still had the wherewithal to run her through when I pulled the rug out from under her._

_He actually thanked me this morning, well sort of._

Arthur looked upand saw himself standing with Merlin. "Merlin," he said, "I want you to know that I never doubted you. Alright, maybe I did, but it's your own fault. You've got a suspicious look about you. Shifty. Like you've got something to hide."

Merlin grinned, "I'm an open book," he said.

Arthur shook his head as the scene dissolved, he'd always suspected that Merlin wasn't an ordinary servant, he couldn't be, he was too…Merlin. From the first moment they met, he'd been trying to figure out why Merlin was the way he was, and yet in some ways he'd been trying desperately not to see what was right in front of him the whole time.

_I haven't written in awhile I guess I've been too busy or maybe I just didn't want to write about what was happening. If I write about it, it becomes more real to me. I can write now because Gaius is all right, well as all right as you can be after being tortured and nearly burned at the stake, and it's my fault. I was careless. I created those smoke shapes without even looking to see if there was anyone else around. Because of that Gaius had to cover for me, or thought he did. _

_Aredian wasn't looking for real magic though, he was looking for someone to confess and go quietly, he realized that Gaius would protect Morgana and me and say whatever Aredian wanted. Gaius was so concerned with covering for me; he didn't realize Aredian was setting him up. I love that man, as I would love my father if I knew who he was. Gaius was ready to die for me, in the most horrible fashion possible._

_I saw to it that Aredian paid dearly for hurting my friend, I knew I was setting him up to be killed, that Uther would execute him as soon as it looked like he was doing magic, but I didn't expect him to go out the window! That was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. _

_Gaius had his say to Uther. I was in my room, and Gaius was starting to tidy up in his workshop. _

Uther stood in front of Gaius looking uncomfortable.

"Yes. I, er...I wanted to say I'm sorry if you suffered at his hands."

"But I did not suffer at his hands, Uther," said Gaius, "I suffered at yours. He worked for you, my Lord. He was merely following your orders."

"But I was deceived," said Uther.

"No," said Gaius forcefully, "You were deceived long before Aredian, for you deceived yourself. You see foes where there are friends, you see sorcerers where there are but servants. I am not the first to be wrongly accused in your war against magic, and not all have been as lucky as I."

"I assure you, Gaius, every measure will be taken to ensure that nothing like this will happen again."

Gaius sighed, "I hope that is true, for all our sakes."

The images faded away and Arthur turned back to the journal.

_I'm proud of Gaius for speaking up, he's spent far too much time standing off to the side, and playing it safe. He took a chance telling Uther it was his fault and I can only hope the message will sink in. Attacking and persecuting anyone with the vaguest connection to magic will not bring him friends or peace, it will only hasten the next time that we will all have to fight for our lives against the creatures of magic that Uther denies._

The blue orb began to glow brighter; Arthur looked up and shielded his eyes.

"The path shall be revealed…." Fas's voice echoed around the cavern and passage opened in the wall.

* * *

Author's notes: We've gone over 200 reviews! That's fantastic! I'm so overwhelmed by the great response I've been getting to this story. As a special treat I'm posting this chapter early. Also later, there will be dinner and dancing, but be careful they just waxed the floor! :) Later Cynic.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

* * *

Fas's voice echoed around the cavern and passage opened in the wall. The orb began to move floating slowing into the passage. Arthur stood up and started to follow. The orb led him down a long and winding tunnel, and after a while into another room, this one larger than the first it had several small alcoves all around the outside, and when Arthur stepped inside the passage behind him sealed. The orb settled in the center, and without anything better to do Arthur pulled out the journal and started reading again.

_I have to confess I left something out of this book. I didn't do it on purpose I just got caught up, and I guess I didn't really want to relive it at the time. Morgana is a witch, or at least that's what the dragon calls her. She's been having visions of the future in her dreams since I've known her, and a couple of months ago she manifested magical powers. I sent her to the druids because I couldn't bear her being so afraid of what she was. I didn't know that Uther would assume she'd been kidnapped and raid the druid camp. I didn't know so many would die because I tried to help her. I should have done the one thing that I could have done long ago, I should have told her about me. But I couldn't do it. I don't know why, it's been months since then and I know that Morgana is still unhappy, she's hiding like me, but she has no outlet for her power, no reason. The dragon said that she would be the darkness to my light, I feel bad because I see her struggling, and I don't think I can help her._

_You see Morgana has always had this darkness to her, she made a deal with the sorcerer to kill Uther last year, and while she changed her mind at the last minute I have to wonder how often she thought about killing him to be so quick to jump when the opportunity arose. I suppose I've been as blind to her as Arthur is to me, I do not want to see the darkness growing inside her, but it's there and I can't ignore it for much longer. Morgana knows what she is, she came back from the druids with that much clarity and now she has a connection to the old religion through her sister, the lovely and deadly Morgause. _

_Arthur fought Morgause in a duel she's at least as good as him with a sword, and she has magic on her side, though I don't think she used it. She killed a couple of guards to get in to issue the challenge, granted the guards aren't as highly trained as the Knights, but they aren't that smart, they'll run off in the direction of any noise leaving their post unguarded, so there was really no need to kill them._

_She's ruthless, and now Arthur wants to go after her because she made a passing comment about his mother. Arthur is really sensitive about his mother it makes sense; he blames himself for her death. It's not his fault really, anymore than it's my fault I have magic, you have no choice as to how you are born. _

The lights flashed overhead and Arthur saw a much younger Merlin sat in one of the alcoves.

"Merlin!" called Hunith and walked into view, "there you are!" She crouched down by the dejected looking boy. "What's the matter?"

"The other boys wanted to play war," said Merlin. Hunith's face softened.

"Why are you hiding?" she asked.

"They're using their father's old armor and practice swords made of wood," said Merlin.

"Made by their fathers," said Hunith. Merlin nodded. "Your father was a good man," she said quietly, "a good man of peace. He never needed to pick up a sword, or wear armor, but he was still a good man."

"Why don't you ever speak of him?" asked Merlin.

"Because I miss him, and that pain will never cease," said Hunith fighting back tears.

"I'm sorry," said Merlin throwing his arms around her, "I will never speak of him again, I would never wish you pain."

"Come on," said Hunith standing up, "we can fashion you a wooden sword and you can go play."

"I don't want to," said Merlin, "Will said he'd lend me his for a few turns, but I didn't want to."

"Why?" asked Hunith.

"The other boys get so carried away. Sometimes they hurt each other," said Merlin.

"And you don't want to get hurt?" asked Hunith.

"No," said Merlin shaking his head.

"You don't want to hurt them, if they scare you, you're afraid of losing control," said Hunith.

Merlin nodded.

"Oh, my boy," she said hugging him to her side.

The images blurred and vanished.

_I lied to Arthur today; I lied to him and made him hate magic even more than he does already. I lied to him and I saved the man who would kill me just for existing. Uther thanked me for being an ally in his fight against magic, I could have cried, then he threaten my life if I ever told any one what happened. So I felt better. _

_So here's the deal, we followed Arthur's enchanted horse to Morgause, who was a waiting to give Arthur a gift. A vision of his mother, whom as it turns out died to balance the life that Uther and Nimeuh created. Yes that's right Arthur was born of magic. Arthur rode off to avenge his mother by killing his father. I managed to convince Arthur that Morgause had lied, had tricked him and wanted him to kill his father. It was half true Morgause wanted him to kill Uther and destroy them both in the process, but Gaius confirmed it for me, Uther did what Egraine said. Uther made a deal with Nimeuh to give him an heir. Now to be fair, and knowing Nimeuh she probably didn't tell him that Egraine would die in the process, but I'm certain she told him someone would die to balance the scales. Knowing Uther he wanted an heir so badly he thought having some random person die wouldn't matter, of course it wouldn't be random, magic for all it's power and influence is never random. Nimueh probably thought that Uther himself would die, she wouldn't have agreed to the deal if she foresaw the great purge. _

_Arthur's birth is the reason I can never tell anyone who I truly am, and yet Arthur's birth may be the reason I was born with these powers in the first place. The dragon speaks of a great destiny to bring magic back to the lands, but in order for there to be that prophesy surely there must have been the one that said magic would be driven from the lands and why. Why didn't Nimeuh know that her actions would trigger these events? Is destiny so definite? If it is why do we even bother with the pretense of free will? _

_With my power I could do anything, I could slaughter millions, I could set myself up as a king; I could single-handedly bring magic back to the land by removing Camelot from the map completely. I could do it all, I feel the magic pulsing inside me constantly stirring to get out. I could destroy the world, or save it, but I choose Arthur and the dream of Camelot and Albion. Is it really my choice if all this was written centuries ago? Do I really have a say in how I live my life? Or has destiny laid out my path and I walk it without even knowing it? At any rate I feel like I've taken several steps backwards and only a small step forward. _

_Arthur spoke to me about his softening attitude to magic while we were going to see Morgause, and it made me hope a little that the time where I could tell him about me would be sooner over later. Then Morgause pulled out her nasty revelation and I had to shatter any doubts Arthur had about magic being evil in order to save him from killing his father. I stopped him from being a murderer, which is good, but I also stopped him from looking on any magic with the slightest bit of understanding, he will always see evil where magic dwells and I doubt that will ever change._

Arthur sat in the dim light from the orb and pondered his own predetermined destiny. He'd never questioned it. He was born to be king, oh of course he'd had the odd fantasy of what his life would be like if he wasn't a prince, and could wander off into the world without a goal, but it had never been a serious choice. Merlin it seemed was in the same boat, bound by his birthright and looking out at the world of choices that he could never make for himself.

The orb flashed and Merlin stood in the middle of the chamber as before.

"You have found what you seek," he said and the wall in the back of the chamber slid open. Arthur stood up and walked cautiously into the next room.

* * *

Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who's come back to this story after the long hiatus! I'm please to see you all :) Feel free to sample the buffet and take advantage of the open bar :D Later Cynic.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

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The next room was lighter, the orb was still the same, but there was a window, which Arthur found odd. But then he considered the fact that he was in a magical cave and shrugged. Through the window he could see a courtyard surrounded by crumbling buildings. A small pile of wood sat in the center and a small figure in the distance walked closer clearly carrying more wood. After a few minutes he realized it was Merlin.

"Merlin," he called and banged on the window to no avail, "Merlin!" he cried again, but the figure of his friend continued to pile the wood in the center of the courtyard.

Arthur was still holding Merlin's diary, his finger marking his place, the book flew out of his hand and the apparition of Merlin near the orb caught it. "Hey!" Arthur cried reaching to get the book back

Merlin opened it where Arthur had left off.

_"Arthur has killed the woman I love."_

Arthur stopped trying to the grab the book, and stood frozen in shock.

_I never knew there was a pain so deep that it made the entire world hurt around you. It's like I'm walking around in a haze of pain and sadness, and I can't even tell anyone why. Her name was Freya, and she was cursed. She was beautiful, and sweet, and innocent. She was cursed to be a monster and Arthur killed her, because that's what he does he kills monsters. I feel like I'm drowning, like I dove into the lake with her and the water is rushing in on me from all sides. _

The apparition of Merlin began to cry, and Arthur wanted to reach out and help him, stop him from reading.

_I couldn't tell Gaius what really happened; I don't think he'd understand. It all happened so fast. I was ready to leave with her run away, and leave everything behind Arthur, Gaius, my destiny, everything. All I wanted was to have everyday where someone looked at me like I was the best thing that ever happened to them, and not like a burden, or a problem, or an obligation, or an idiot. I wanted to see that expression on her face everyday, and I wanted to look at her like that as well. But she was cursed to be a killer, and I wouldn't wish for anyone to live with that kind of guilt. _

_I took her to the lake, and she died in my arms. I don't think I've ever cried this much in my entire life. I wasn't ready for her to go, but I could see that she was relieved her torment was over. I'm glad she's found peace, but I wonder where mine is._

The apparition of Merlin flickered and reset to a normal calm image, he just stood there holding the book staring blankly ahead. Outside the window, Merlin was clearly stacking the wood into a pyre, a large one.

"Oh Merlin, no," Arthur whispered.

_I'm not even going to dignify the love spell debacle with an entire entry; Arthur is enough of an idiot without the spells that make you a fool on top. The only good thing about the whole ordeal is that now we know for certain that Gwen is Arthur's true love. Honestly I'm thrilled but we have bigger problems going on. _

_Morgana is in league with Mordred, who's in league with an evil sorcerer and they've stolen a powerful magical artifact from the vaults below Camelot. The Crystal of Nyatid, Gaius says that powerful sorcerers used it to see the future. I've been told my future by a deceitful self-serving dragon. I'm still not sure I believe it, but it's as good a goal as any. If I looked into the future and saw something terrible, I'd need to know there was something I could do to prevent it from happening. To see the horrible future and be powerless to prevent it? I'd rather be surprised._

_I followed Morgana to the druid camp and now I have to find a way to tell Arthur without accusing the king's ward of treason and getting myself hung. _

Arthur thought about the crystal that had been stolen several years ago, and Merlin knew even then that Morgana was a traitor and could do nothing about it. As a servant no one would have believed him and he would have indeed have been killed for speaking out.

_I couldn't help it; the pull of the crystal was too much. The images I've seen; Camelot burning, people running scared, myself in tears and above it all the great dragon roaring and breathing fire. I wish I'd never even heard of the crystal. But I can't get it out of my head._

_Morgana freed the prisoner, I can't prove it, but I know it was her. She's drifting further away and can't figure out how to stop her. _

The apparition paused and glanced at the window, Arthur looked out. Merlin had made a small campfire and was wrapping a decent sized log to use as a torch.

"Merlin stop!" cried Arthur banging his fist soundlessly on the window. He turned to the apparition. "How can I stop him?"

_"I killed Morgana." _

Arthur blinked shocked until he realized the figure was reading again.

_"I killed Morgana, and set the Great Dragon free. Hundreds of people may die, are dying because of what I have done. Gaius said it's not my fault, but he doesn't know all I have done. Morgause cast the spell, she cast the spell to awaken the knights of Medire, Morgause cast the spell to make everyone in Camelot fall asleep, Morgause chose to make Morgana the center of that spell. I had to choose between Camelot and Morgana, but before that I had to choose between my distrust of the Great Dragon and Camelot. Camelot always wins._

_I promised to free the Great Dragon if he told me how to break the sleeping spell. To break the sleeping spell I had to destroy the center of the magic. I had to kill Morgana. _

_I traded Morgana's life with Morguase, she dismisses the knights, I give her the poison I used. They're both gone. I don't know if Morgana is dead, it doesn't matter. I intentionally set out to kill her, whether I succeeded or not is beside the point. Morgause traded her conquest for Morgana, does that make her a better person than me? After everyone awoke Arthur was too busy with the city checks and the guard and stuff. I slipped away and the dragon told me how to free him. I took one of the swords of the knights of Medire and cast a spell and struck his chains. _

_He immediately set about attacking the castle, I tried to stop him, I begged him, and then I used my magic on him, nothing did any good. I saved Camelot only to unleash a more terrible horror upon it._

Arthur couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. Merlin, Merlin had...he couldn't bring himself to consciously conjure the words. He closed his eyes desperate for the world to go back to the way it was a few weeks ago, but he knew that nothing would change. Except that he wouldn't know the lengths that Merlin had gone to for him. He wouldn't know the kind of friend, and protector he had, he wouldn't have known Merlin.

Lightening flashed in the sky outside, and Arthur watched as Merlin drew a line around his pyre. Thunder rolled and the sky opened Arthur could see that while Merlin and his meager belongings were getting absolutely drenched, the rain was bouncing off some kind of magical barrier protecting the pyre from the wet. Merlin stood in the downpour his arms outstretched, at the pyre.

Behind the barrier the apparition of Merlin kept reading.

_My father is dead. I barely knew him and now he's dead._

Arthur froze staring at the apparition, he never even knew that Merlin had met his father.

_My father is dead and oh hey I'm a dragonlord. The Great Dragon, aka, Killgarrah, I feel bad I've known him for three years and I never thought that he had a name, but considering the damage he's done I don't feel that bad about it. Turns out Balinor, the last dragonlord was my father. My mother never even told me his name. I had one night and a day with him, and then he jumped in front of a bandit's blade for me. Arthur saw me crying, he said no man is worth my tears. I wanted to run away from him at that, no man is worth my tears? He was my father! He gave me his powers, and I told the dragon to leave and never return. Arthur thinks he slayed the beast and it flew off to die. I couldn't kill him, the last dragon, and me the last dragonlord. Tell me Arthur would a dragon be worth my tears? I don't know how to handle this, I barely knew the man, but it's like a part of me died with him. I suppose it was the hope, that little flame in the back of my mind that one day, one day I might meet him, and have some kind of a relationship, like maybe he would be the reason I am what I am. I used to imagine that he was some powerful sorcerer, all long robes and mysteriousness. I thought I might learn spells from him, and understand who I am better, I thought one day he might come and take me to a place filled with people just like me, people with magic open and free. Instead I'm stuck here with a destiny I can't escape, saving a place and a people that would gladly kill me if they caught me saving them. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the effort._

* * *

Author's notes: We're nearing the end of our journey fellow travelers and its been so much fun. For those who like my work and perhaps know my other story No Mortal, I have the sequel starting now it's called The Coming of Emrys. Thanks so much to everyone, they'll be fireworks and a great bonfire when we're through here :) Later Cynic.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

* * *

Arthur stood at the window and watched Merlin, he just stood there letting the rain drench him, and he looked so small and alone. Arthur wished he could go out there and comfort him, or at least offer him his cloak to shelter under.

The apparition continued to read.

_I can't believe I left this go so long without writing, I feel like I've been on the road for months, probably because I have. Uther nearly got us killed, running after any rumors of sorcerers or magic. I've been using my magic more and more, its a miracle that no-one's noticed. Much more of this and I'll be caught. Thank god Morgana doesn't know about my magic. There's one less thing to worry about. She said she forgave me for poisoning her, but she was just trying to regain my trust. She's in league with Morgause, fully this time not just unwittingly like before with the knights of Medire. I followed her found out she was making Uther mad to weaken the kingdom for an attack. They caught me, and left me for dead bound in magical chains. A Serket stung me and I couldn't get free._

"Stop!" cried Arthur, shocked that Merlin spoke so frankly about Morgana's betrayal, but the apparition paid no mind.

_It turns out being a dragonlord has its advantages, Killgarrah saved me, killed the creatures and took me off to safety he cured the sting as well, but it took too much time. Morgause and Cenred were already marching on Camelot by the time I made it back. Some days I wonder about him. Morgana thankfully didn't try to kill me again when she realized I'd escaped, well not until I tried to stop her from summoning an undead army from the crypts of the city. Then she gave it a good try, its a good job I've had so much practice blocking with a sword, thanks for that Arthur, though she did manage to knock the sword out of my hand, it gave me the opportunity to duck down and make the ceiling fall in on her. I destroyed the magic she used to summon the dead, and they fell silent again, leaving the knights to fight off Cenred who seeing the full force of Camelot decided to cut his losses and retreat. It isn't over, not while Morgause has an army she can call on, she'll come up with some other way to give Cenred the advantage. _

_Morgana made it out of the crypt. She didn't out me for trying to stop her, she only took credit for my stopping the magic on the bones. I'd say Uther thinks the sun shines from her, except if he did she'd be burned at the stake. How Uther doesn't see the contempt in her eyes whenever she looks at him, I will never know. But for some reason he will not doubt her, he's blind to her true nature always has been really. I can't talk, I've got the same set up with Arthur, he's so thick some days I wonder if I worry about exposure too much because something tells me I could do magic in front of Arthur's face and he'd still be looking for a way for it not to be true. I was gone for days, fighting for my life, fighting to get back and warn him about Morgause and Morgana, but the only thing Arthur noticed was there wasn't someone there to pick up his dirty socks._

Arthur shook his head at that, the rain seemed to have slowed and stopped, but Merlin outside hadn't moved. It was almost like he was in a trance.

_That goblin nearly cost me everything I care about, but I won't be sorry for helping someone in need even if it was a trick. With the creature back in its box the only consolation I have now, are the mental images of Arthur with Donkey ears and Uther with a baldhead. I never laughed so hard in my life. I had to leave the bray in for a couple of days, it was too funny for words, and besides, Arthur is constantly in need of lessons in humility._

Arthur pursed his lips at that, but he supposed he had to be grateful that Merlin was there to reverse the Goblin's spell even if he did let it spin out a few days.

_Arthur's always full of bad ideas, and he never listens to me when I point them out either. Since when is he concerned with blending in with the local color? It was almost worth the bar fight, to see the look on Arthur's face when the barmaid said I was the cute one! Worth it if it weren't for Gwaine's injury that is. Though, if you're going to meet someone, meeting them while fighting in someone's defense while vastly outnumbered is a pretty good way to get the measure of their character. Even if he is a drunk. _

_Gwaine told me his father was a knight, and he died before he knew him. I told him my father had died, just after I met him. I couldn't tell him who my father was and what he'd done to get banished. I barely know Gwaine, but it felt good to tell someone, other than Gaius about it. I suppose I'm still grieving, but I can't talk to Arthur about it, he'd ask too many questions and I know he's not ready for the answers. _

Arthur sighed, so much of Merlin's life was wrapped up in secrecy he wondered how he kept it all straight.

_Gwaine saved Arthur's life in the melee, but Uther still banished him for saving me from the fake knights. It's a shame. Gwaine would have made a great knight. He's going to Mercier I'm going to see if I can keep track of him, we may need his help again one day._

Arthur frowned perhaps Merlin had been collecting knights for him all along.

_This is all so ridiculous; I have to write it down. I know I haven't been writing much in this book, I've been writing more to my mother, and letters to the friends I've made, like Gwaine and Lancelot. These last few months have been like a nightmare, oh sure we had the normal troubles, where Arthur almost married a Sidhe, and Morgana nearly died thanks to some visions in the crystal cave. There was that business with Gwen getting kidnapped, but we got Elyan out of the deal so I think we came out ahead. Arthur went on his 'important quest' to find the Fisher King's trident, and Morgana used the opportunity to nearly suck the life out of him. I got to him in time, thanks to Gwaine, but it turns out I was supposed to be there all along. _

_I freed the Fisher King, and he gave me a gift to help me in the dark times ahead, well things are pretty dark right now. What else? Oh I saved Gwen from being executed again, by pretending to be an old wizard name Dragoon, it was kind of fun to tell Arthur and Uther off for being such Noble pains in my ass and not seriously have to worry about being burned at the stake, it did get a little dicey towards the end there, but the spell wore off and Arthur only thinks I'm a drunk and idiot, and not a sorcerer. Is that better? Some days I wonder, today though I have to be the rambunctious friend and get the future king to buck up enough to rally the men and win Camelot back._

_ Oh yeah, I didn't say, Morgana finally showed her hand, and it's a good one she has an immortal army with Morgause at her side, sitting on the throne of Camelot revealing both her parentage and her magic in one fell swoop. We've fled the castle and are currently sitting in a cave while Arthur holds court with the rocks in the corner. I know it's been a shock for him, I mean it was a bit of a shock for me and I already knew she was evil, a witch, and Uther's illegitimate daughter. So things to do, buck up Arthur, figure out a way to stop an immortal army, and recapture Camelot. No problem easy._

The apparition stopped reading for a moment and Arthur looked over at Merlin's impassive face.

_Arthur,_

_This is the end of this book, I hope you're reading this in the distant future and you want to remember the great adventures we had, but I'm not that optimistic. I have no doubt we can defeat Morgana's immortal army and regain control of Camelot, but I cannot be sure if this will cost me my life. I've asked Gaius to give this to you if the worst should happen. I want you to understand why I had to do this, and why I couldn't tell you. You are my best friend and I could never standby and watch you get hurt without doing my best to stop it. I hope you can forgive my betrayal, and the secrets that I have had to hold. The irony is that I think you might be ready to accept me, magic and all, but with everything that's happened with Morgana I think the shock might be too much, so I've decided to wait a little longer. I want you to know who I am so much it's a constant ache in my chest. I've been standing in front of you for so long waiting for you to notice, but you won't, you won't see it until there's no other place for you to look. _

_This is me, Arthur, I hope you can accept that, and if Gaius is the one who gave you this book, then I hope you can forgive me for what I've had to do to protect you._

_I know you will be the great king of legend and if I am not there to see it, I have one piece of advice to leave you with..._

_Don't be a prat._

_Merlin_

The apparition vanished and the book dropped to the ground.

Arthur looked out at the courtyard, the rain had completely stopped, but the clouds still cast a grey gloom over the area. Merlin was slowly circling his pyre, he picked up one of the spare pieces of tinder, and seconds later it was aflame. Arthur took a deep breath he was watching Merlin do magic like it was nothing. Looking down at the flames, Arthur noticed they weren't very bright. The image in the window was fading.

"Hey!" cried Arthur, as the image got dimmer, "Let me out!" he pounded on the wall with his fist, "Let...Me...Out!" he punctuated his words with a thump to the wall. "Please," he whispered and the world exploded around him.

* * *

Author's notes: I think I might be in love with the ending of this story, it came to be in a dream... :) There's still some wiggle room in the wrap up so if you have some specific realizations you'd like Arthur to have let me know. Later Cynic.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

* * *

"Why are you such an idiot? A complete and total prat, I can't believe you did this, it's oh, and it's just typical isn't it? All those times, all those times you could have seen, and the one time I don't want you to barge in is the time you choose, just typical."

Merlin's voice sounded pissed off, which was odd because the apparition didn't emote he just read.

"Now I don't have anything for the pain, so you're just going to have take it or stay unconscious." Arthur had a second to wonder what that meant before there was a great tug on his left leg, and then all he knew was a strange buzzing noise in the back of his head.

The next point of awareness was of pain an acute pain focused all on his left leg that was, both excruciatingly painful and also completely immobile.

"Don't move you'll dislodge the splint."

Arthur groaned and finally opened his eyes. Merlin sat a little way off tending to a campfire; he was clearly upset and taking it out on the kindling.

"What happened?" asked Arthur, just now cataloging various other aches and pains all over his body.

"You tell me," said Merlin stepping closer to him with a water skin, he let Arthur drink some and put it aside. "You fell out of the sky, like someone tossed you off a building. You're lucky you only broke your leg, it could have been your neck."

"I was in a cave, and I was looking for you, the druids said I'd get put on the right path. There were these apparitions, and there was one of you, and it read your diary. I could see you, but I couldn't get to you. I needed to get to you." Arthur didn't look at Merlin as he spoke, he couldn't face the real thing just yet.

"This fell down with you from wherever you were," said Merlin, Arthur glanced up and saw it was the diary. "Did you finish it?"

"Yes," said Arthur, "but I still don't know what to think."

"Then why are you here?" asked Merlin confused, "Why did you go through all this to get here?"

"Gaius said that what you wanted to do was dangerous, that you've seen the future before and not been able to prevent it. I don't want you to risk your life on a fool's errand," said Arthur.

"I'm trying to save your life Arthur, its kind of my job," said Merlin.

"I know you think so, and I don't know about all this magic and destiny crap, but I do know what I saw in that vision fire and it wasn't a good time for you. I saw you die or get badly hurt in so many different ways, and I saw you on the pyre, and I never want to see that come true, but you of all people know that acting to prevent a vision can bring it about."

"But doing nothing is just as bad, I can't just sit by and let you die."

"You won't, you'll be by my side, as you always have, and we'll face whatever comes together. You don't have to hide from me anymore," said Arthur.

Merlin smiled.

"Isn't this touching?"

Merlin's head snapped up to see who had spoken.

"What are you doing here Morgana?" he asked.

"I had a vision," she said a smile slid across her face, "Arthur sat by while you burned. I wanted to go to Camelot to see it for myself, but my sister is weak and we had to make our way here. I'm so glad we didn't detour, now I not only get to see you burn for the crimes you've committed, I get to be the one to do it."

"I've committed no crimes Morgana," said Merlin standing up to face her across the courtyard.

"You have always stood in my way, you constantly stopped me from taking my rightful place in on Camelot's throne!" Morgana cried.

"I tried to be a friend to you, but you turned your back on us you betrayed us all!" Merlin cried.

"I was betrayed by my own father!" cried Morgana.

"It doesn't excuse your actions, you've tortured and killed hundreds of innocent people, that wasn't the magic Morgana, that was you!"

Arthur had stayed silent throughout, he almost felt like he'd been forgotten, until Morgana let her eyes fall on him still lay on the ground.

"And what do you think dear brother? Do you side with your servant and hide behind the bigotry of your king?"

"I think I have been so blind, not to see what you were becoming right in front of me all these years," said Arthur, "I don't know who you are anymore Morgana, but you aren't the girl I grew up with, and you are certainly no sister of mine."

"Silence!" They all spun around to see Morgause hunched in one of the arches around the courtyard, "Sister, we must prepare for Samhain, we can deal with the prince and his boy later. _Beclemman!"_ She cast and Arthur found his hands bound in front of him, he glanced at Merlin and saw that ropes had appears around his wrists and ankles and the second they drew tight he toppled over face first.

"Merlin!" called Arthur.

Merlin managed to roll himself over onto his back, his nose was dripping blood and he looked clearly aggrieved by the situation.

"That will hold them until we're ready for them," said Morgause.

Morgana pouted, "I wanted to watch him burn."

"You will," said Morgause, "when the altar is prepared."

"I'm still not sure I can go through with this," said Morgana, helping her sister back through the arch.

They walked back through the arch into the temple.

"Are you okay?" Arthur whispered to Merlin, Merlin just lay there with his eyes closed. "Merlin? Merlin you better speak to me or so help me you'll be doing my laundry and the laundry of all the knights in the kingdom for a month!"

"I'm fine," said Merlin shortly shaking blood out of his nose, then he looked at his ropes and said, "_ascdrian."_ Nothing happened, Merlin sighed and sniffed a little.

"What are you trying to do?" asked Arthur.

"_Ascirian_," said Merlin, and the ropes fell apart from his wrists.

"Oh," said Arthur as he watched Merlin untie his leg ropes and then moved to sit next to Arthur and untied him.

"I need to go see what they're up to, but I don't want to leave you defenseless, so I need to ask you something," said Merlin.

"What?" asked Arthur.

"I need your permission to do magic on you to heal your leg so you can get away," said Merlin.

"You don't need my permission to do that," said Arthur.

"Yes, I do, I've done research and I know why none of my other healing spells have worked it's because healing requires a willing patient. More advanced sorcerers can do it without verbal consent, but I've not been able to practice this kind of magic much by myself," said Merlin.

"What are you going to do to me?" asked Arthur.

"I'm going to say an enchantment over your leg, and if it works then you'll be walking out of here."

"And if it doesn't work?" asked Arthur.

"Then I'll have to think of a way to distract Morgana and Morgause long enough for us to get back to the boat," said Merlin frowning.

"Okay," said Arthur taking a deep breath.

"Are you sure?" asked Merlin looking concerned.

"Just do it!" cried Arthur. Merlin placed his hands on Arthur's injured leg.

"_Bétan gebroc!" _he said. Nothing happened. Merlin rubbed his hands together and replaced them on the leg, "_Bétan gebroc!"_ he cried with a bit more force, his eyes glowed gold and Arthur could feel a heat seeping into his leg where Merlin's hands were, the heat increased cutting through the numbness he'd felt since waking up, then it started to burn in earnest.

"Arrgh!"

"Arthur?" Merlin jumped back suddenly. The burning resolved into a strange warmth that spread along his legs, and up his chest, "Are you okay?" asked Merlin sounding panicked. "Did I hurt you?"

"Merlin," said Arthur.

"I'm sorry! I told you I haven't practiced that spell!"

"Merlin!" cried Arthur.

"What?"

"I'm fine, in fact I feel great!" said Arthur. He sat up and rubbed his legs the cuts and bruises were all gone, but he still felt a little shaky hopefully that would fade. "Now stop worrying and let's go get Morgana."

"We can't," said Merlin.

"Why not? You don't have to be careful with your magic around me anymore," said Arthur.

"You might know, but she doesn't and that's an advantage I'd like to hold on to," said Merlin.

"How do you know she doesn't? She could have heard us talking about it," said Arthur.

"Neither of us actually said it, we only talked about the visions and she wasn't there that long anyway," said Merlin.

"How do you know?" asked Arthur.

"Morgana's not all the subtle," said Merlin, "she wouldn't have thought to listen in she probably just heard the last thing you said, and stepped in."

"Not subtle?" asked Arthur.

"What?" Merlin shrugged, "every time she makes a move it's blindly obvious who's behind it."

"Not to me it isn't," said Arthur grudgingly.

"Yeah, well," said Merlin not looking at Arthur for a minute, "we'll work on that," he said patting Arthur's arm.

"This is irrelevant anyway, we can't let her finish whatever it is she came here to do," said Arthur.

"Her powers have clearly grown, I'm not sure I could take her and Morgause as well," said Merlin.

"Morgause is injured," said Arthur.

"She's a powerful sorceress she doesn't need to move to be able to do magic," said Merlin.

"Then what do you suggest?" asked Arthur.

"You get in the boat, and I will cause an unfortunate accident and follow you," said Merlin.

"An unfortunate accident like how?" asked Arthur.

"Like the roof falling in on them," said Merlin.

"Oh," said Arthur surprised, "Good plan, but I still don't want you to go in there alone."

"Fine," said Merlin, "but stay back."

Merlin pulled Arthur to his feet, but as soon as he was upright he started to sway and he had use Merlin as a crutch.

"At least you're mobile," said Merlin, "I think that's a pretty good result for the first time I tried a spell."

"You didn't tell me that was your first try!" cried Arthur.

"I told you I couldn't practice it!" said Merlin, "Come on you have to go to the boat."

Arthur scowled at Merlin, but allowed himself to be led to the boats tied up on the small dock. Merlin helped Arthur into a small one-person boat.

"You won't fit in here," said Arthur.

"I'm not going," said Merlin and raised his hand to the boat, "_Astyre." _ The boat moved off into the water.

"Merlin!" Arthur yelled, but Merlin was already running back into the temple.

* * *

Notes: I'm in a spot right now I'm just going to chill here for a while. Later Cynic.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

* * *

The boat was set on its course, no amount of paddling would make it turn and it was all Arthur could do not to jump overboard and swim back to Merlin. But he knew he wasn't strong enough yet. A few minutes later, he was in sight of the shore and the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen was there, and much to Arthur's surprise it was Gwaine. Well Gwaine and Lancelot.

"Arthur!" Gwaine called to him as the boat came to a stop on the small dock. Lancelot was occupied negotiating with an old man in a larger boat on the other side of the landing. "How did you get here?" asked Gwaine helping Arthur out on to the jetty.

"The cave had a surprise inside," said Arthur, "we have to go back to the island."

"Lancelot is securing our passage, what's going on?"

"Merlin's in way over his head and we have to help him," Arthur rubbed his leg; it was still sore, but not painful or unsteady anymore.

"Let's go then!" said Gwaine, and they both joined Lancelot in the boat.

"How did you both get here?" asked Arthur as they got underway back across the water.

"A messenger came and informed us that a patrol had spotted Morgana in the area and were riding to meet her," said Lancelot.

"We didn't want to leave you," said Gwaine, "but the message was urgent and we figured you'd be okay since the druids hadn't made any threatening moves towards us and my limited knowledge of their culture had me convinced you'd just sit in the cave for a couple of days before the door opened again. The druids are big into extreme forms of internal contemplation."

Arthur gave Gwaine a surprised look, but Lancelot jumped in before he could comment.

"So we went to find the patrol, but we were too late."

"What happened?" asked Arthur.

"Morgana's powers are growing, she flung the entire patrol with a wave of her hand, two knights are dead the rest were injured, we were able to make sure that they were on the way back to Camelot before tracking Morgana here," said Lancelot.

Whatever Lancelot was about to say next was swallowed whole when a huge fireball exploded out of the castle ruins, and a shockwave started the boat rocking about madly. After a few minutes they got the rocking calmed and were able to dock next to Morgana's boat.

Arthur jumped out and drew his sword running through the castle to the courtyard. Lancelot pulled him up short just as a whirlwind hit the column he was standing beside. Gwaine joined them and they all crouched behind a half ruined wall. Peering through the cracks they saw Morgana facing off with an old man with long grey hair and a beard.

"Who is that?" whispered Gwaine.

"It's Merlin," said Arthur, "shush."

They sat and watched Merlin's older form deflecting Morgana's spells one after another after another, and also pelting her was a few of his own. Morgana on the right, and Merlin on the left; the pyre that Merlin had built had been lit by one of the volleys and the fire blazed between the two enemies. Morgause was not in sight from where Arthur and the knights were crouched on the side of the courtyard.

Morgana started muttering a spell and used her arms to direct a whirlwind at Merlin. Merlin tried to dodge it but was caught up in the winds, he said a spell of his own and the wind dissipated, but it was too late, he was airborne and without the wind now he was falling. He was falling towards the pyre.

Merlin fell, his long hair flicking up in front of him, and it was all Arthur could do not to scream out in horror as he was enveloped in the flames. Morgana laughed, and walked closer to the fire.

"You thought you could defeat me!" she screamed, "You weak old man! You cannot hope to wield the powers of the old religion!"

The fire flashed blood red when it caught Merlin's body, and Arthur was almost relieved when he didn't hear his friend screaming, like he'd heard so many others growing up in Camelot. Then he heard it, it wasn't a scream it was too low pitched like a growl, almost like an animal. The red flames cleared and in the yellow and gold that remained was Merlin, he was floating his robes were burning, and his hair too but he wasn't struggling, he was just hovering with his head thrown back, making that groaning noise. Thunder and lightening cracked the sky and Merlin's head snapped forward.

"I have seen the future," said Merlin, "and it doesn't end well for you." He raised his hand and lightening struck the ground just inches from where Morgana was standing she was thrown back and landed hard on the ground near the edge of the courtyard. Morgause pulled herself out from behind the small wall and checked on Morgana.

"No!" she cried her screech somehow becoming power as it shook the foundation of the ruins around them. Morgause pulled something out of her robe, she threw it on the ground Morgana started to stir as black smoke surrounded them and they vanished.

Lightening cracked the sky again and the rain fell down like someone had just thrown a million-gallon bucket across the island. The flames surrounding Merlin hissed and threw up huge cloud of steam. Arthur tried to get to Merlin but the heat flowed back at him, when it cleared the pyre sat empty still smoldering ashes and on the floor beside it, face down naked but for a layer of ashes and back to this young self again was Merlin.

* * *

Arthur stoked the campfire to life, but kept an eye on Merlin's sleeping form. They'd grabbed Merlin, and his supplies and left as quickly as possible, even while the rain continued to drench them. Arthur, Gwaine and Lancelot had set up camp, as quickly as they could, they wrapped all their bedrolls and cloaks around Merlin, but he stayed resolutely asleep. Arthur had sent the two knights to pick up extra firewood and perhaps trap some dinner, but really he wanted to have moment alone with Merlin.

"Why Merlin?" he asked staring into the flames, "why would you risk yourself for me? I saw the power you had, I read about the lightening in your journal, but that was different to seeing it. Merlin you could level the kingdom, but you choose to save us every time. What could I possibly have done to win your faith, and loyalty? I don't deserve it."

"Yes, you do."

Arthur's head shot up, and he saw Merlin sitting up in his nest of blankets and firs grinning at him. "You're awake!" he cried.

"Yes, and freezing," said Merlin pulling the blankets around his shoulders, "did you bring my bag?"

"Yes, but everything was soaked," said Arthur. He pointed out Merlin's shirt and pants draped over a nearby tree branch. "The only reason the blankets are dry is that it only rained in the courtyard and all the rest of the stuff was sat in the antechamber by the moor."

"Fair enough," said Merlin, "Where are the others?"

"Getting more firewood. We're stuck here for the night," said Arthur.

"Morgana and Morgause?"

"Gone, in a cloud of black smoke," said Arthur.

Merlin rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know why they use that stuff, it's called Witch's flight and it's very unreliable," said Merlin.

"What do you mean?" asked Arthur.

"I suppose it works for the dramatic exit, but the magic is uncontrolled it grabs the entire area the smoke covers and throws it up to 50 leagues in any direction," said Merlin.

"So Morgana and Morgause could be anywhere?"

"Within 50 leagues, I hope they ended up at the limit so they won't make it back in time," said Merlin.

"In time for what?"

"Morgause said they needed to perform the ritual at Samhain, which is only a in a few days, even Morgana can't cover 50 leagues in two days, let alone with an injured Morgause," said Merlin.

"What do you think they were going to do?" asked Arthur.

"I don't know, but there can't be many rituals that are needed to be performed on the isle of the blessed on Samhain, and I'm not inclined to think it's a healing ritual, because Samhain is about the dead," said Merlin. "I'm starving, pass me my pack would you?"

Arthur pulled Merlin's satchel closer to him, "I told you everything was soaked."

"I'm a warlock," said Merlin smirking, he pulled out a piece of wrapped up bread cheese, the cheese was okay but the bread was extremely soggy. "_Adrúgian." _He picked the now dry bread and torn off a chunk and started eating it.

Arthur shook his head, "Will you do that with your clothes?" he asked.

"They're going to dry fine without," said Merlin chewing thoughtfully, he put the rest of the bread to one side and yawned loudly, "sorry," he said, "I guess I'm still a little tired."

"I'm not surprised you only slept a couple of hours and I know you didn't sleep last night," said Arthur.

"If you know that then you didn't sleep either," said Merlin.

"I haven't been fighting witches and calling down lightening from the sky," said Arthur, "I imagine that takes a lot out of you." Merlin shrugged. "Go to sleep I'll wake you for breakfast." Merlin simply nodded and lay back down in the nest of blankets and was asleep in seconds.

The trip back to Camelot was uneventful, they met up with a patrol that had been sent to track Morgana and they all made the journey home together. Merlin was quiet all the way home, he was physically fine, the fire had just burned off the aging spell and the rest was exhaustion. He walked slowly at the rear the group, and Arthur thought he spotted his friend smiling a few times. Arthur hoped that meant he'd seen a good future, but with Merlin you never knew.

On the morning before their arrival in Camelot, the men were taking a break by a stream and Arthur notice Merlin was sitting well back from them, and writing in a book.

"Are you writing about the arrogant ass again?" asked Arthur, Merlin smirked at him but went back to writing. "I've made a decision," said Arthur and cleared his throat, "while as regent I can't repeal the ban on magic, I can still pardon anyone I choose. So in this private court meeting between myself and the confessed sorcerer I officially pardon you for your actions in contrary to the laws of Camelot and commend you in your efforts to save us."

Merlin stopped writing and regarded Arthur over his notebook carefully. Arthur cleared his throat again, and then in a low voice said, "That was me accepting you as a warlock, and forgiving you for lying to me for as long as we've known each other," Merlin just sat quietly still looking thoughtful, "it's also me thanking you for all you've done to save me, and the people from various threats both magical and otherwise," said Arthur starting to get a little put off by Merlin's subdued reaction, "so," said Arthur. Merlin raised his eyebrows.

"So what?" he asked.

"So what do you think?" asked Arthur.

"About what?" Merlin asked.

"About what I just said," said Arthur getting irritated.

"Oh, I think its good, thanks," said Merlin he flashed a quick smile and went back to writing in his journal. Arthur frowned; he looked back at the knights and the rest of the patrol who were relaxing by the stream, and then back at Merlin scribbling away.

"Are you going to tell me what you're writing?" asked Arthur, "or am I going to have to read it for myself in 5 years?"

"Sorry Arthur," said Merlin, "it's just going to take a bit of time to get all this straight in my head. Giving you the diary made me realize how much I used it to figure things out in my head. I'll tell you what I can but we should wait until we're back home."

"Let's move out!" Lancelot called from up ahead, and the men got up to walk the last leg back towards Camelot.

* * *

Author's notes: Happy saturday! Later Cynic.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

* * *

The return to Camelot filled itself up more quickly than Arthur could have imagined, everyone from the council to the rest of the knights were all looking to Arthur to take charge. Agravaine seemed happy to see him, though there was a tone in his voice that Arthur didn't like very much. His first thought was to dismiss it, Agravaine was his last living relative besides his father and he wanted the closeness of family, but if these last few weeks had taught him it was to be aware of everything and never assume that the person your speaking to is really what they are presenting to you. So instead of just ignoring the barely disguised contempt, Arthur noted it for examination later.

Once his court duties had been taken care of and he'd seen his father was in much the same state as he'd left, Arthur decided it was time for that conversation with Merlin.

He found Merlin, tending to the fire in the grate in his chambers, at least that's what he supposed Merlin had intended to be doing, he just seemed to be lost staring into the flames.

"Merlin?"

"Oh, Arthur," said Merlin standing up and dusting off his hands, "sorry just kind of got caught up."

"It's okay," said Arthur, "I was looking for you anyway, I thought it was time we had that talk."

"Yeah, I still don't know what to say about it," said Merlin.

"Just tell me what you saw," said Arthur, "you went through this to find out about your original vision, of the funeral pyre. Did you see it?"

"I caught a glimpse of it, but I saw you standing in front of it, so it must have been someone else's pyre. I don't know whose so don't ask, when I first fell into the fire it was like seeing a thousand pictures pass me by in just a few seconds, I barely had a chance to see something before it was gone. I think the spell went wrong somehow," said Merlin.

"In what way?" Arthur asked.

"I saw so much, but it moved so fast I could barely see anything. I think the vision spell combined with the aging spell and I saw much, much farther into the future than was intended."

"How much further?" Arthur asked.

"Hundreds perhaps even thousands of years," said Merlin, he smiled at the shock on Arthur's face, "I don't know how far it was they seemed to use a different calendar."

"What's the future like then?" asked Arthur.

"Amazing!" said Merlin smiling, "and frightening. I saw it like I was walking around inside the vision it was very intense."

"What did you see?" asked Arthur.

"Huge buildings, covered in glass built to the sky, lights everywhere with no torches or candles. People rushing around, riding in metal carriages that ran without horses, and metal birds flying in the sky with people in them too!"

"You can't be serious!" cried Arthur, "It sounds like magic run amok."

"No, it wasn't magic, or it wasn't treated as magic. I don't know how to explain it," said Merlin and he shook his head.

"This city of glass was it Camelot in the future do we last that long?" asked Arthur.

"No, it wasn't Camelot," said Merlin.

"How do you know?"

"Because the next thing I saw was a room full of people, and they were all there to learn about the history and legends of Ancient Britannia, specifically myths surrounding the most famous of all kings, King Arthur and his knights of the round table," said Merlin grinning at Arthur's shocked expression. "They all knew about you Arthur, hundreds of years from now people will still be telling stories of Camelot and of you and the knights. Camelot may not survive the test of time, but you will, you and the principles you stand for will be remembered forever."

"I don't know what to say," said Arthur after a few moments pause, "I'm not trying to be a legend, I'm only a man, trying to do the right thing most days."

"And that is why you will be remembered," said Merlin.

They sat quietly for a while contemplating the consequences of Merlin's vision.

"It doesn't have to change anything," said Merlin, "just be who you are and let history figure out the rest."

"What about you?" Arthur asked suddenly.

"What about me?" Merlin asked confused.

"You're important to Camelot and to any legacy I might leave behind. Aren't you in the legends of Camelot?"

"Well I am mentioned, they call me a wizard, and I'm depicted with long grey hair and a beard and wear a pointy hat," said Merlin.

"That's a good look for you," said Arthur tilting his head to one side as if imagining a pointy hat.

"I'm not wearing a pointy hat," said Merlin scowling, and then failing to suppress a smile.

"So, are you the most famous wizard in all the land?" asked Arthur.

"I'm pretty famous in connection with Camelot," said Merlin, "but no, some other wizard is more famous than me in the future."

"Really who is it?" asked Arthur.

"I've never heard of him, so he probably hasn't been born yet," said Merlin.

"But he'll be more famous than you?" asked Arthur.

"He's more recent for that time, I think," said Merlin, "I didn't get a lot of details, but apparently his name is Harry."

"Harry?" Arthur frowned, "What sort of a magical person is called Harry? Merlin is bad enough, but Harry?"

"What's wrong is Merlin?" asked Merlin.

"Nothing," said Arthur, "if you like weird names, I suppose it's fine."

"Merlin is not a weird name, and anyway it's better than having a boring and unbelievably common name like Arthur. I mean try for some originality please," Merlin smirked at Arthur and quickly dodged a goblet being thrown at his head.

* * *

Epilogue

* * *

Merlin cleared away the dishes from his and Gaius' evening meal.

"Merlin?" Gaius called.

"Yes?"

"About your vision…" Gaius trailed off.

"What about it?" asked Merlin sitting down at the table with Gaius.

"You said the vision showed a time that you thought was hundreds perhaps even thousands of years in the future," said Gaius.

"That's right," said Merlin.

"Merlin do you know the difference between a vision like yours and a seer's prophesy?" asked Gaius.

"I never really thought about it," said Merlin.

"A seer has the gift of sight, they can see events and people and places anywhere at anytime, and they don't have to be involved with the events to see them. Visions project a person into their own future, everything you saw in the crystals you saw come to life before your eyes, isn't that right?"

"Yes," said Merlin frowning, "what are you saying?"

"You're not a seer Merlin, the spell you cast created the vision you saw, a vision of your own personal future."

"That explains it then," said Merlin.

"Explains what?" asked Gaius.

"It explains why when I saw that group of people learning about Camelot that I was the one in the front teaching." He looked at Gaius thoughtfully, "Am I going to live forever Gaius?"

"I don't know, Merlin, visions can be hard to interpret, you may think you'll live a thousand years, but perhaps what this vision shows is that you may travel to the future one day."

"Time travel!" Merlin laughed, "How could that be possible?"

"By magic!" said Gaius.

* * *

Author's notes: That's all folks! Thanks for the memories and I hope you all have great weekend. Later Cynic.


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